On Track

Today Hubs and I got out the door at 7:30 am to take our 9th grader to high school where he'd get the bus with the track team for a meet.  His run time wasn't until 12:30 so I was so glad it wasn't me who had to sit outside for hours till then.

We went to the high school meet later and it was so cold out--must be in the 20's with the chill factor.  And there were these high schoolers running in shorts and tank tops.  Our son ran cross country in the fall and we went to all of his races but the courses wind in woods oftentimes and we only see his body in motion briefly.

But with track you see the students run around a track and we sat ourselves on the freezing stadium benches waiting for his race to start (a mile which is four ties around the track).

I hardly recognized him as he has grown four or so inches this year.  He looked so beautiful I had some tears behind my glasses.

 

So, this is what he does after school every day, prior to when he calls Hubs or me asking for a ride home, getting stronger and faster.  That phone call where I am all grumbly thinking why aren't there other kids near us who do track so we can carpool.

And then I had the same reaction the first time I saw his older brother do cross country.  I felt like I had to get home as fast as I could and cook a lot of food.  I saw his body in motion and thought--no wonder these boys eat us out of house and home.  He is almost 6 feet tall--what did I think it took to have them grow so well.  And then I couldn't get home fast enough to make some homemade chicken soup.

Making food in our kitchen for the boys is a large way of showing my love for them.  My heart was bursting with pride for him and for wanting to cook for him/them.

My changing hormones and their changing hormones sometimes clash around here.  Every day when he gets home at 5:30 he and all of them are ripping through the cupboard like madmen for food.  Most days I have dinner or muffins or something ready--I'm up at 6:30 am and have dinner and items prepped before I start work at 9:00am.  One day last week I didn't and there was our runner, all sweaty and hungry and I was about to do my new commitment to walking/jogging in our 'hood and as I am apt to do lately I snapped, "This is why I am fat -- I am always in the kitchen if I am not working!!!"  

And you know, that is sort of true....but today I am calmer and it is about them.  I have had my days of looking good and many years without kids.  I do need to point them to what they can eat while I do go outside for 30 mins to take care of me a little bit.

It's been 8 hours now and he is still at the track meet.  Brrrrr.  There is a big pot of chicken noodle soup and salad and bread (Hubs will complain there are no matzoh balls in it, which I make sometimes).  After today I have more respect for how hard our son works at school and after school with track and how hungry he is when he gets home.

Phone Tales

One day last week I was working at my desk as usual with my phone nearby and my middle son who's in 9th grade calls, which is unusual since he only calls or texts at the end of the day when he needs a ride home from sports.

He say, "Mom, I'm calling to let you know that someone had their phone stolen at school and my backpack got searched and of course there was nothing in it, so I will see you later, OK?"

Me: "OK, bye".  Thinking: Well, I will pump him for all those details later.

So the minute he got home I got the scoop.  He was in math class and there were about 20 minutes left and the students sit in single desks all facing the front.  a couple rows behind him and toward the left a girl announces that her phone is missing.  She had put her iphone on her desk during a quiz .......and suddenly realized it was gone.  The teacher then said he needed to call Administration and when the assistant principal got there (he is known to the students as "Sherlock Holmes" as he is the one involved in these kinds of investigational/law breaking issue) he asked for everyone around Stolen Phone Girl's radius to stay and everyone else to go on to their next class which was starting soon.

Then of the remaining students, three at a time they had to go into the AP's office and have their backpack searched.  One girl student who was to the Stolen Phone Girl's left and behind, was very vocal in denial and she was known to have frequent in-school suspensions for stealing these, etc.

My son was the last to be called in for a search and in the meantime he missed Spanish class and was starving and had to use the restroom he said more terribly than known to humankind.  Afterwards is when he was told to call his parent and state what he said when he called me.  He never heard the results of the Stolen Phone, but these were my/Hubs' thoughts:

--Did anyone call the phone to find it (yes, but it was on silent)
--Why was her phone OUT of her backpack to begin with (our son said this same question to himself and the girl was asked and she said she had no pockets but not sure why it wasn't kept in backpack.  If you knew that Reputation of Thief Girl was sitting nearby, why have it out??)
--Was there a test or something going on in Spanish class that you missed (No).
--Is someone at school allowed to search your backpack? (Hubs asked this.  Apparently they are).

BTW, in the fall this son had just gotten his new cross country sweatshirt and set it down for 5 mins and it was ripped off.  I asked him the other night if a teacher was able to make everyone freeze and find it but it was afterschool.  Also this same son left his (non-running) shows in the building one day when he was waiting for us to pick him up and they were never to be seen again and being the toughie I am, I am not replacing them.

Onto the next phone tale....

Hubs and I have had the iPhone 3 for almost two years.  We are behind the times.  I don't care about phones too much as I am on the phone and computer all day for work and frankly don't have the time to think about my phone much.  But Hubs had a fit the other day when Pandora acted up so we went to the AT&T store and walked out with the iPhone 4 for $ .99 each and an appt at the Apple store for two nights later.

Friday night we had a technology date at the Apple store in the mall.  I felt old and awkward that we brought in new iPhone 4's but our young tech rep got us all fixed up with some info and transferred my phone photos onto our laptop that we brought in.  He showed me some photo tips and in the process he took a picture of me (with my permission) and showed me how it was then sent to the laptop.  

I am still in shock over the photo.

What The Hell Happened to me?

Why is it that occasionally I can put on make-up, fix my hair, wear jeans into some great boots I found, think I look not bad at all for 50...and then see a photo?  I did get some good genes that did their thing previously but these same genes are the culprit of a neck that is horrid and a face that has fallen.  Sure I have some good things left for my age.  People exclaim positively over my fingernails.  I have long legs, particularly the thighs.

My sedentary and stressful months have maybe added to the downfall and although I have heard that a few extra pounds my be good for the face maybe that isn't true for me.  

You know I cook all the time for these 4 guys, right?  And that includes desserts--these guys have no body fat.  But I have stopped eating dessert cold turkey.  I am saying that I won't have dessert stuff for 30 days.  I also went out and bought new running shoes and spent 30 mins doing the walk/run/walk/run all around the n'hood using the timer on my New iPhone 4.

I guess it took that photo on my phone to motivate me.

Now I'm Keeping Track of Three Wallets

As the only person in this household who keeps and carries a purse (a bag if you live in a different region) my wallet is always in its place when I need it.  Not the same for two of the other people I live with and soon another son will be added to the category of those of whose wallets i must keep track.

Almost 20 years ago Hubs and I went on a vacation with another couple.  It was a wonderful week for us (although the wife of the other couple left the husband 8 months later) and we had so many laughs that Hubs and I still sometimes revisit those memories.  Anyway, at least several times a day for 7 days, my husband asked me, "Michele, do you have my wallet?", so much that after a few days just to be funny, our friend, Tom, would ask me as well, "Michele....do you have my wallet?"

Many a morning is spent tracking down his wallet in our 25 years of marriage.  When we do errands together he almost always drives and when we get out of the car to go in the store, his wallet and phone go into my purse.  Sometimes when he goes to work the next day his wallet is still in my purse.

Ever since last July our oldest at age 16 has to keep track of his wallet/engage the whole house sometimes to find it.  Everything is misplaced including the keys to our little truck that he drives to school.  Last night we had an incident that I realize is going to be a frequent occurrence over the next several years.  It was about 6:30 and I expected him home at 6:00 after going from school to a golf club near school where the soon-to-be team gets to practice.  I texted him to check in on his whereabouts.  He texts back, "I lost my wallet at the golf course."  He called to add that he left the golf course and went to a gas station but didn't have his wallet so he was retracing his steps and a couple people were helping.

I then mentally check off that he has a debit card that will need canceling and a driver's license that will need to be reissued and that he and Middle Son will have to take the dreaded school bus till that's done.  I scout out Hubs and tell him.  He doesn't get all whacked out like I do.

A little while later Oldest son calls to say a friend of his who was helping him look found it in the road near the entrance/exit of the golf course.  Oldest Son had done the "classic" move of placing it on top of the vehicle and leaving it there and as the little truck pulled turned out of the drive and onto the street, it was flung off and left in the street.  At this time the rest of us were at the table eating dinner and Hubs says, "Oh yeah, I have done that before." and then tells two stories of doing this same move.

Something tells me that last night won't be the last time I get a phone call about losing a wallet and that call could be from anyone with whom I live.

P.S.  This past Saturday I was at the Drivers License place with our Middle Son who turned 15 last week, to take his Learner's Permit test.  He passed and then later Hubs took him out for his first experience driving and maneuvering in the parking lot and then driving home.  So now there is another wallet to be minded in our house.

P.P.S.  Have I mentioned that insuring three vehicles was $150 per month until last July when we added one teenage boy and it doubled to $300 per month.  One year till we have another teenage driver to be added.  

Teenager Part Time Job Saga - Part 2

Since my previous blog post about our 11th grader's first part time job as a restaurant busboy--that same restaurant was recently mentioned in a local paper with its Health Food score an F!  His first job is frequent fodder for our family dinner table conversation.

In October when he had that job, we mentioned this job's shenanigans to a friend who has always been in the franchise business and he told our son about an acquaintance getting ready to open his own franchise restaurant and he could put in a good word.  That is how our son got his 2nd job which started after Thanksgiving.

Our son is amazed at the contrast--there was good training, high expectations and a clear payday schedule.  He is working at a place that is similar to a Five Guys where the order is taken by a cashier and then cooks make the food and then customers are called up to get it and then add their own fixings to their plate.  So his duties rotate from cashier to refilling the drink dispensers to sweeping the floor, to asking customers if they need anything.  I knew he would like to work like I did when I was his age because it helps to learn how to make conversation with all kinds of people.

On his first payday he didn't even ask his boss about the pay--when he walked in his boss immediately gave it to him.  Together we have opened a "teen" checking account so now he has direct deposit and his acct is linked to mine so I see it and he has a debit card.  Talking to the bank associates was a good experience for him too.  Right now his mind is filled with what kind of jobs people have and how did they end up where they are.

But there was one incident that happened in the parking lot outside his new job.  The restaurant is in a newly renovated strip center that is looks 100% better than it did a year ago with some good anchor stores and new smaller stores.  He drives to work in an old Toyota truck of ours that he gets to use for work and school.  The workers tend to park at the opposite end of the lot, with their cars facing a busy road.  The lot is not very big--nothing like a Home Depot or grocery store lot--it is much more narrow than that.

A couple of Sundays before Christmas he worked from 4 till 10:00 pm and when he got into his small truck he drove away and noticed it sounded loud and knew he had to tell his dad/Hubs as soon as he got home, which is a few miles away.  But shortly another driver pointed to my son's car and said his tailpipe was dragging so our son pulled into a bank parking lot and called home and said something was wrong.  Hubs grabbed his tool bag and went a mile down the road to meet him.

Soon they both came back and Hubs announced, "Thieves cut out the catalytic converter from under his truck."

This happened to a friend of mine a few years ago who had parked her Maxima in a large Home Depot lot all day.

All it takes is two minutes for a thief to slide under a car with a saw and cut in two places near the muffler and steal it.  Here is why (pasted from Wikipedia):

Because of the external location and the use of valuable precious metals including platinum, palladium, rhodium, and gold, converters are a target for thieves. The problem is especially common among late-model trucks and SUVs, because of their high ground clearance and easily removed bolt-on catalytic converters. Welded-in converters are also at risk of theft, as they can be easily removed with a reciprocating saw. Theft removal of the converter can often inadvertently damage the car's wiring or fuel line resulting in dangerous consequences. Rises in metal costs in the U.S. during recent years have led to a large increase in theft incidents of the converter, which can then cost well over $1,000 to replace.

It is amazing that someone risks jail time for an item for which they get about $40 from a scrap metal place--and those people who pay for these are as bad as the thieves.  Fortunately for this vehicle a refurbished part cost $75 and then after labor the total was around $200 so not the thousands it would cost for other vehicles. 

Our son called his boss and told him just as a heads up to tell the property rental company.  Police drive by occasionally.  Anyway, our son parks closer to the store now.  Something worse happening in this town we live in has me nervous.  

A few weeks before Christmas, Hubs said outloud, "Well I wonder what house item will fall apart/break this year as it is always something this time of year."  He didn't have to wonder long, as I swear the next day it happened.  It has been a stressful, bummer, downish winter. 

Some Sagas of our Teen's First Part Time Jobs--Part 1

This past October our oldest son in 11th grade got his first job--as a busboy in a restaurant near home.  I got my first job at the same exact age and I really liked the experience and learned a lot about the public--I knew he would feel the same way. I had no idea that his job(s)n would lead to such conversation pieces and drama at our household!

First it seems that to get a p/t job it is "Who you know" just as much as a grown up trying to get a job these days.  A friend of my sons started working there as his sister was a waitress there so the friend put in a word for my son.  The hours were really bad: every Fri, Sat and Sunday night.  But the worst part is he worked for weeks without a paycheck.  As a busboy on Sunday he would bring home cash as it is a % of what the wait staff made so he would have $100 cash, which we knew was pretty exciting to him but we reminded him he worked a lot of hours--like 24 for that $100.  And where was the paycheck?  He was supposed to get $2.00+ per hour as a base salary.  I swear to you every week he asked the mgr and the owner (the wife) when he would see his paycheck.  Turns out the rarely had a paycheck for the busboys.  Which we found out later is why they quit every 6 weeks or so.  After about 3.5 weeks he got his first paycheck.  But then it was a hassle to try and get the second and last paycheck.

Once the wife distinctly told him that she would be there on a Monday as "they had run out of checks".  They wrote checks by hand just like a home checking account.  She was a no show.  Then the following Saturday night he saw her at a table with husband and they had finished eating and he asked her when he would have a paycheck and she said, "Don't ask me about that while I am relaxing having dinner."

Seriously?  Does this woman think that this 16 year old boy has no family?  Does she not have a clue that he has a momma who loves him?  I wanted to go there one night when she was there, approach the table and go all New Jersey Housewife Teresa Giudice on her.  Either that or I did have fantasies for real of going to the restaurant and inform them I wasn't pleased and then approach every table and tell customers how the restaurant does not pay its employees!!!

Well, our son had reached his limit of this place not knowing how to hire enough busboys to give them more normal schedules or to pay them as they should so he quit after getting one paycheck but being owed another.  The mgr assured our son that the last paycheck would be there a certain day and after going in it wasn't.  Well, the next day Hubs and I moseyed on over there at about 5:30 pm.  We asked the young hostess for the owners and then the mgr quickly came over.  Hubs introduced himself and the mgr (who is older, much older than I thought) said, "Oh yes, he is such a good boy.  He is my favorite." And Hubs said, "Well, then do the right thing by him and make sure he gets his check.  You guys OWE HIM MONEY."

And then the next day or so our son went by and the check was ready.  And the mgr said, "Be sure to tell your dad that you got your check."  In all my years, I never thought that we would have to practically have a scene for our son to get his paycheck.  And we really didn't have to and shouldn't have to.  I think both Hubs and I were SO CURIOUS as to what kind of people cannot pay a 16 year old a check that only totaled about $65.  The only thing this place has going for it is that it has a primo location at a pretty, outdoorsy shopping area (where Hubs and I needed to do an errand anyway).

So our son then had the month of November off and then right after Thanksgiving he started his second part time job and I know he felt different being able to tell the owner that he had prior experience.

Next up: there was an incident at this new job.

Traditions - Full Long Nights Month of December

It is back to the usual school routine today and I think our cat is happy to have some order again with a regular bedtime, early rise time for the boys and a window seat to watch the long winter's night turn into day.

I have just put in a load of my laundry (after a full day of boys' laundry) into the machine and my week's worth consisted of pajama bottoms, lounge pants, yoga pants, more pajama bottoms, about 13 pairs of bright, fuzzy socks, and a sweater from our one night out this month on a date.

It's been a month of keeping up a 16-year tradition, ending traditions and something new due to the sheer force of boys getting older, and an unwelcome tradition that I hope goes away.

In November, around the dinner table, we start to tell the boys that a visit to Santa at the mall is being planned.  As usual. 

My incentive is I treasure the photos.  A negative aspect of me is that I don't take many photos of the boys.  Or any of us.  We got a cat in August and the shelter had asked if we could get a family photo and send it in and I wanted to but I never did.   

The boys are highly motivated by new clothes at some of the stores, and food--they know our tradition is to get up and be at the mall one hour before Santa arrives so we are first in line, get the photo taken, see their mom and dad laugh and smile, then shop for clothes and a skate board and then have a yummy lunch together.

One of Oldest's friends had pictures taken of him for fun and put it on Facebook so maybe the boys don't think we are too crazy. We did notice the little kids in line after us were staring at the boys.  Santa was wonderful as usual and I asked if this year we could take a photo of them standing rather than sitting and after that Santa chose this pose--he does a good job of lecturing them.  We wondered if Middle son, who is now over 5'10" would be taller than Santa but right away Son said, "No, this is a tall Santa."

This was December 20th and it was my first official Vacation Day off work since the end of June.  And not to cloud my post or my memory but the reality is that there were several work crisis's the day before (and all month) and I had to send emails at 7:30 am and check emails at lunch in the bathroom.  And then make calls after we got at home.  I am already planning a day off in January after things settle down. 

(Santa 2011)
We still plan on coming back to do the Santa picture next year, as a tradition that started when Oldest was six months old.  We didn't have decorated Christmas cookies made until the night of the 25th.  We never drove around looking at houses lit up (but Hubs still puts old school colored lights on our house).  We still get our tree from Home Depot on the last day of November.  We still have our own Thanksgiving full-blown turkey meal the weekend after Thanksgiving to help us calm down from (this year's especially trying) Thanksgiving in Florida.  We still have prime rib with candle light on Christmas Eve and ham and buffet foods on Christmas day, at home, in pajamas with the 5 of us.

(Santa 2010)

The Third Child is in Middle School and I'm All Renegade

I know I have posted several times about how many tests are in elem and middle school and here I go again.  When my youngest son was in his last year of elem school last year, the burn out of our kids was really apparent.  By December there are already so many tests--teachers and principals are asked to have so many -- all to prep for the Big Test in April for which teachers have to make sure their students pass.  Or else there are bean counters in the county office watching. 

In early Sept the kids are tested to assess how ready they are for the Big Tests in April.  Then of course you have other tests for grades (which mean nothing now because you can be passed to the next grade for poor grades but not if you didn't pass the Big Tests in April).

Then there is the IQ test which isn't clear to anyone that that is what it is (called the Cogat) and then there is the ITBS--the National Test which is the only "bubble in worksheet" test I had to take as a kid.

In December the students are tested Again for the Big Tests in April to again assess the status of where extra help may be needed to do well on the Big Test.

My third son was excited about middle school earlier in the year being able to see new kids from the one school he had previously attended his whole life and also being able to have several male teachers.  This week the teachers were honest with the kids as they told my son that coming up are two days in which they will be tested to see how they will do on the Big Tests--AND that they will see some info they have not yet been taught so to just guess and do their best.  And that it doesn't count for a grade but to try their best anyway.

The following week after these assessment tests are "midterms" on the material they Have learned and it IS for a grade.

So, guess who is staying home for two days?  It turns out that I had scheduled dental appts for two sons one of those afternoons.  But I am doing what I can to try and eliminate some burn out.  And make a statement.  They have have the scores from last April.  Kids don't sway much much how they score year to year.  My three children have been consistent every year.  Sitting in classes taking more tests on some material not even learned yet is not ideal.  But my son and I are lucky in that I am home and can have him home with me. 

BTW, one male teacher is super cocky and told us parents on curriculum night that he is very competitive with the results of the Big Test in April and each year tells his students if they have the best scores in all of the other classes then he will do something they vote upon like wear a dress.

His students are the kids who have been in the "gifted" classes in elem school.  I am not understanding what he is worried about.  He will never have a student placed in his class who just moved from another area and has a file about 3 inches thick with behavior issues, poor grades and a lack of parenting.

Other teachers I know agree it is a waste of time.  I should add up the hours taken away from teaching something interesting or doing something creative due to all this pre-testing of the Big Tests.

Why do we have the state criteria Big Tests in April?  Because once upon a time parents demanded schools with good test scores.  Hubs suggests that I attend a County Board Meeting and speak my opinion to the School Board or somehow let other parents know what is what about all this pre-testing.  It would definitely be an example to the Board of why some many parents would prefer a Charter School (which is a slippery slope to think of the behaviors and grades then left remaining in the schools).  Hubs has already spoken up enough on many items to most likely have his name written down on lists in the county office.

So tomorrow I will have my 6th grader at home.  He always helps with whatever I ask.  He is better at cleaning his bathroom than either of his brothers and he will reorganize the pots and pans cupboard and dust the furniture.  And we will have hot chocolate.