Going on Dates with Boys

One Christmas morning about four or five years ago there were three small envelopes addressed to Mommy and Mom, tucked onto a branch of the Christmas tree, one from each boy. As a surprise to me, each one was a gift card to a different restaurant in our town, and a note from each son saying he wanted to take me on a date. I was really tickled and I went out with each son separately over the next month or so.

My middle son remembers that first "date"--he was in kindergarten or first grade (and he is now about to start middle school). We went to Chili's and had the best time. After dinner, we split a dessert called Chocolate Molten Lava. He asked me, "Can a heart ever burst or stretch in size because it fills with so much love?" I was in bliss. (I just asked him a few minutes ago if he remembers our first date at Chili's and he said he remembers a really good chocolate dessert).

After a couple of years we didn't actually use a restaurant gift card, but instead a couple times a year I suggest that we go out to a restaurant and do something afterward. Things get very hectic around here with two parents working outside the home, and three boys with lots of homework and three boys doing three different sports sometimes during the year. So what started as a gift idea from my husband has turned into a routine of one-on-one time with each son because it is a real treat to enjoy them individually, and I know they like talking to me as well, uninterrupted by another bro.

Earlier this summer I missed the boys a lot when they spent a week here and there without me. So when I suggested we have our alone dates my youngest son (age 8) said "Me first!". We went to see the movie "Up" which was of no interest to the other two. First we went to Chick-Fil-A and then we went to the drug store to get some candy. Yes, I am one of those moms who will not pay the movie theater candy prices.

My middle son and I are the only ones who can rollerblade in the family so we have gone to a roller rink that is just $2 on Wednesday nights. And we bring our own glow because they clear the rink and let only those with Glow on skate for a couple of songs.
This summer I took my 13 year old to see Transformers 2. I liked the first Transformers which I saw at home on DVD when it came out. I even got teary at the end when the yellow Bumble Bee transformer said, "I want to stay with the boy". I had been told that in this Transformers Megan Fox is made up like a porn star. I was compelled to let my son know after the movie and dinner at Chick-Fil-A that the actress looks a little different and that all girls in dorms don't really walk around in towels after their showers, nor does every girl at a college party look like these did, nor do they run for their lives in the desert with lips all plumped and glossed. He thought the extreme lip action was ugly. I kept my comment about how she was first shown onscreen "posed" on top of her motorcycle to myself. Maybe I should have taken him to see Ice Age-Dawn of the Dinosaurs instead. Nah, I'm not gonna fight this battle about some movies, but I do what I can to advise what is real.

So the entertainment is varied and the conversation is changing, but I will always look forward to our one-on-one time to enjoy the boys separately.

Taking the Boys to the Movies

Taking my kids to see new movies is one of my favorite things to do. I was at the movie theater with them in the summer of 2004 when I had an epiphany. In all honesty it may have been 2005. I didn't keep a journal but I have pounded my brain for the details.

So it was when the movie was getting started for either Shrek 2, The Incredibles or Harry Potter in The Prisoner of Azkaban when I realized that it was perfect having these three boys at their ages and that I could see the benefits of them growing up, and no longer moan as much about not having any more babies. I think a family goes through a lot of changes when the last child is three years old.

I know I had been taking the boys to movies before this point in time when they were almost 4, 6.5 and 8 years old. For example, I know that we took my first son to the movies when he was 6 weeks old. That summer was a real eye opener. We had visions of the three of us being together all summer long with a happy, cooing baby. Turns out this son is the complainer of the family and it started at about 5 days old. Anyway, the movie was Phenomenon with John Travolta and although my son slept through it when he wasn't nursing, I realized the volume was just too loud to be spending any more time in theaters with any babies.

So back to that summer when I knew I was at peace with no more babies. I remember my youngest son was on my left and sat in his seat the whole time. There had been some movies where he preferred to walk up and down the stairs near me. But he always tried to keep up with the brothers and so by this time he sat and watched like the other two.

From that point on we have hardly ever missed going to the movies to see something new that comes out that we all decide is movie theater-worthy. Even in times when I could not pay the nice movie theater prices, we'd go to the Dollar Movie Theater where the movies shown have been out for 8 weeks or so.

My oldest son is 13 and he has been going to see movies with other friends, and actually my 11 year old has done the same. For example, the oldest has seen the latest Harry Potter movie but the rest of us haven't. So I will be taking the other two soon to see it. And he also didn't want to see the latest Ice Age movie so I took the other two. And I took the oldest alone to see Transformers 2 and really hope the other two don't see it. Ooops too late the 11 year old did see it with a friend. These days I give them the heads up on how girls really look before they have their lips all pumped up and glossed even though they are running through the desert. I swear, I did fill them in on these things... More on that for another post. And I am sure that before I know it there will be movies that my oldest will see and be glad that I am not there. But I really have enjoyed this pocket of time in the past 5 years, where we have been together in movie theaters.

Cucumber, You So Crazy

My little cucumber plant that I planted in May is apparently very happy. This one turned out to be monster sized. No photos of tomatoes however. They are not happy.

For the past couple of years I have driven past a house that has a hand-painted sign out front during the summer that says, "Tomatoes". The other day I stopped and there sat the cutest, very old couple selling tomatoes. I told the man mine did not do well this year but that my cucumbers and peppers are doing great. So at least I know where to get some homegrown tomatoes, as I am not aware of a farmers' market close by.

Off to put together chopped cucumbers with green onion, dill and sour cream. I love it next to rice and some grilled fish.

And in case you think I am always so healthy-eating-minded, today at work I took little Butterfingers, Snickers and Sweettarts from a candy jar on someone's desk. And the other day during my lunch shopping at Target I bought a box of Red Vines and ate the whole thing.

I Lucked Out in the Sister-In-Law Dept. and I am Late to the Jewelry-Making Party

Do you ever wonder how and why some people pick their spouses? I often think about what are the attractions that draw two people together for the long term—what are they looking for and what do they need. My mate offered me a nice, normal, large family. When I was engaged I don’t think I ever said to my girlfriends: I want to marry him because he has a nice family. Or maybe I did--it has been a long time. But I know this: if I were to have made a list of desired attributes, I would have never written down that I had to like my beau’s family (This drives me crazy on The Bachelor shows how the Bachelor or Bachelorette always makes a big deal of having to like the parents).

My husband is one of six children, all born in a 10-year span, with parents who were married for over 50 years. After being part of his family for a few years I noticed a pattern. I realized that each of the four brothers (including my husband) married a woman with very similar attributes: we like to cook and had been doing so at a young age, like to read, are independent, have good jobs, were not raised in an “Ozzie and Harriett” type family, and choose to spend 90% of holidays with our in-laws. And we are very strong.

I do not have any sisters and it is a wonderful thing having sister-in-laws. They throw showers for you when you get married or have a baby (even though that may be anti-Emily Post); they offer to watch your kids; they share recipes and swap books; they clean your kitchen from top to bottom when visiting; they share and compare traits and quirks about the brother they married; there is no drama with each other; and they have transformed me into a Black Friday shopper. The only negative is that none live in my city.

I have returned this week from another vacation and only this time I got girl time with some sister-in-laws. We swapped books, cooked, made sangria, shopped, swam in the ocean, floated in a pool, went on a boat, talked about our husbands, watched a movie, walked at 6:30 a.m., had coffee outside, and shopped at Michael’s Crafts….because one of them taught me to make jewelry.

I am back and the Boys are still in Florida, (husband says they are going wherever the trade winds take them, which is island talk for they are spending a few more days in various parts of FL). I went to Michael’s Crafts during my lunch and bought my own jewelry tools and beads and things –and made this necklace. I think my sister-in-law who taught me how to make necklaces, bracelets and earrings has created a monster because I want to make jewelry every day. Maybe I'll set up a craft table near the TV so I can make my girly creations near the boys when they watch their Testosterone Channels on TV (which they inherited from the brothers who all watch those Discovery and Science and Nature and Man vs. Food shows).

The Full Buck Moon

Take some time to gaze at the full moon on Tuesday night—the full moon on July 7th is called the Full Buck Moon because it is the month when the buck deers start to grow their (fuzzy) antlers.

(photo of elk from Rocky Mountain National Park)

The boys are growing fast around here. There’s a wall in the garage where I measure the boys whenever I think of it. I measured them recently and each grew half an inch in 30 days. They are not tall boys (at least not the oldest who is very grateful that he consistently continues to be about a quarter of an inch taller than his brother who is 20 months younger). So at this time I still feel like I am mom to young boys because none of them are close to my height yet (I am 5’6”).

My oldest has a friend who also recently turned 13 and he has grown 3 inches recently and he is almost my height. The two of them just ran the Peachtree Road Race (the largest 10k in the U.S.) together on July 4^th. So for the first time in ages we all got up really early and watched this event. Those young bucks practiced only one time and they were able to finish the race with no problem. I ran it the year I was 30. I should have made it a decade celebration and ran it again at age 40. But I had three young bucks then. Maybe I will run it with all of them one year.

OK, I have just announced to the boys that we should all run it together--you have to be 10 years old so we have a couple more years for the youngest. That gives me some notice to get started.

P.S. The mom of the boy who just reached 5'6" told us that where she began measuring him on the wall, she has run out of room because there is a built-in shelf there above his head now. I told her that we moved houses a few years ago and I had kept the measurement on a wall. I traced it and now who knows where I have kept that paper. Mu hubs stated that parents of young ones should nail in a piece of molding vertically on a wall for measuring the kids, and then if you move, just pull the nails out of the molding and take it with you and re-install at new home (where was this idea about 10 years ago?)

(Here are the boys in the Badlands, SD after getting up too early and still half asleep).