Tough Love

In a span of five days I had three strangers comment on my Driver's License photo.  That photo was taken about 13 years ago.  All I have ever had to do is renew it online--even after moving to a new address.   Strangers used to comment about it, "That's a great picture!"

First, the female rep at a rental car place and then two different ladies at two different hotels have recently said after looking at my ID, "You look so different now!"  So--I used to actually get compliments on that photo and now I hear how much I do not look like that photo.

And to all three I replied, "I have three teenage boys.  When that photo was taken I did not."  And then they back peddle and say, "Oh, didn't mean it like that--I mean your hair was blonder."

When the last person said it while checking into a hotel in Texas last week, and I said my response of three boys and teens--she nodded and said that she too had three boys of ages 13, 11 and 8 and for 10 minutes we shared stories of how they act up and I told we we "go Amish" with ours which is how they feel with no phone or computer access.  She told me how she works hard every day to get them clothes and things they want and I told her I understood and when I am not working on the weekend I shop for and make food they like.  We both shared that we always correct their behavior even if it means that day or that weekend just got incredibly harder for us.  We completely related.

Three years ago when mine were 13, 11 and 8 like hers are and I remember it well and I was very busy with everything and was more involved than I am now with their homework and school projects.  But I wasn't dealing with the same issues we have dealt with at ages 16 and 14 (I hope the 12 yr old is as easy at 16 as he has been up to this point but I am not naive).  In the photo above they are 5, 3 and 1.  People would say I have my hands full. 

I am sure that a few years ago when they were 13, 11 and 8 someone else must have looked at me and knew I'd soon know what it is like when they are 16 and 14.  Is there someone who has boys at ages 19 and 17 and 15 looking at me now and thinking that if I think 16, 14 and 12 is challenging--just wait? 

My boys are the best thing about my life.  This summer they will be 17, 15 and 12.  There will be another learner's permit achieved.  And I'll have a new driver's license then because they have changed the rules in my state and on my next birthday I will wait for about 5 hours in person with about 3 items of ID and then I will get a new picture.