Changes: They Are Happening Around Here

The kids in our house have a more active social life than the adults these days.
This became apparent on Memorial Day:
Youngest son (age 8) was invited to spend the day with a friend and he swam at a pool, played all afternoon, had ribs for dinner and was invited to spend the night as well.

Middle son (age 11) was invited to a 7-hour long birthday party which included a steak and shrimp lunch at a hibachi restaurant, 3 games of laser tag, then cake and ice cream and playing and the pick up and drop off at our house was included.

Oldest son gets on the phone and coordinates a day of bike riding independence with his buddies who all live within a few neighborhoods. They assembled at the top of the hill, rode a couple miles to an outdoor shopping center where he paid for his own lunch out, browsed and played at the Game Stop store, rode to another boy’s house for swimming and playing until dinnertime.

The adults’ holiday day was spent doing errands together. Which leads me to the next change around here:

They are old enough now that the adults don’t have to take them along everywhere.
There are no more babysitters needed for a night out. In the past when out socializing with other couples we have been known to have laughed with a friend who spins a good yarn, “That was a great story but not sure it was worth the extra $10.00 we now have to pay the babysitter”.

On Memorial Day my husband and I found ourselves alone browsing at Barnes and Noble. And shopping at Target. And at Best Buy. I felt like I was on a date. And it was really hard to remember that I had to work the next day. Which leads me to another change around here:

Everyone else in my house but me is on vacation now for about 10-11 weeks.
So my morning and evening routines have changed. I no longer have to get up at 6:20 a.m. to make everyone their lunch and get the kids out the door in stages and then drink coffee quietly alone and then clean the trashed kitchen before I go to work. With everyone in bed till later, this would be a great opportunity for me to get up early enough and take care of myself by walking, right? Hasn’t happened yet. Because I am up late with everyone else who gets to play video games or surf the web or watch movies late because they get to sleep in. And these days one of the kids really likes to sleep in. Which leads me to a new Big change around here:

In less than a week I will be the Mother of a Teenager.
When Oldest son was very young—starting at age 2--he used to stand at my side of the bed and say, “I want cereal” at 5:00 a.m. or so. At a very, very young age we taught him how to get his own and quietly watch cartoons. This same child is now the last to get up in the morning. And I wish the only issue with him now was getting me up too early asking for cereal.

I am old enough to be the mother of some of these cutie patooties I see (Couger growl) but interest in Motherhood began for me later, after I mothered some cats and dogs first. I never really held a human baby until I held my first son. (pause while I dab at the tears).
(me about 13 years ago with one of the two cats and the dogs we used to have and I mothered them well as they all lived very long lives)My pregnancy and oldest son's birth are on my short list of Best Things to ever Happen in my Life so I find myself blown away this week by memories and changes. When the boys were really little other moms would tell me how they grow up so fast, but at the time I couldn’t see beyond the diapers and bottles and Cheerios. Now, I had better take my Wheaties and get that exercise so that I can be sure to keep up with them.

If anyone you know has a 1992-2004 Ford vehicle or truck, please read:

Exactly one year ago our truck spontaneously combusted in the middle of the night while parked in our driveway. At about 4:30 a.m. we woke up to the sound of a horn blaring on and off. Perhaps teenagers reveling rather early over the last day of school? Then my husband ran down the hall into our two younger sons’ room which has a window over the driveway and saw his truck on fire. Flames were about 10 feet straight up in the air. “My truck’s on fire—call 911!!!” So I ran into our bed's footboard (ouch!) and we both ended up calling 911.

We all stood on the front lawn, away from the truck, telling the operator to HURRY because there was a full tank of gas in it and we heard popping noises. By this time the flames were about 30 feet high—straight up from the engine, and very close to an oak tree. Neighbors started to come out because you could apparently hear glass shattering and rubber exploding. We started to hear the sirens get closer and closer. The firefighters quickly put the fire out with a giant extinguisher and then lots of water. They estimated the temperature was at 2,000 degrees. Hot enough to completely melt even anything aluminum—it made a silvery liquid pool across part of the driveway.

“What year was the truck”? asked a policeman? We told him it was a 1998. Can I tell you how brand new it looked? Can I share with you how our boys are not allowed to eat or drink in our cars unless it is a rare occasion and that this truck was lovingly washed by hand just about every week of its life? And an oil change every 3-5K? I think not--more like every 2,500 miles for this baby. A squeek heard anywhere? It was fixed. Brand new tires? Check. Aligned? Check. Change of filters, belts, etc.? Check. Not a spot or scratch inside or out. This was a lean, mean, barely used driving machine. It was really a beloved truck. “Since it was 10 years old I bet you only had minimal insurance on it”, he wondered. I went into the house and looked at our policy. I had meant to lower the insurance coverage, but it was still completely covered.

I mention the pristine appearance of this truck only to paint a picture of it and not to mourn the loss of this material item. Let me describe how lucky we are. Here is a picture of the demolished truck in our driveway.

Do you see the garage at the top of the driveway? The previous night my husband parked it right next to the house. Do you see the flag? Right above that is the window and room where two of the boys sleep. Five months prior to this day, the truck was parked in the garage right under their beds each and every night.

For many years we’ve been a 3-vehicle family: a car, a truck and an SUV. We upgraded the SUV five months ago and the Ford F-150 got demoted to the driveway each night. Thank you God for that decision.

We had received two notices from Ford to have the speed control deactivation device unattached at a dealership. With school ending that very same day, going to a Ford dealership that week was on my husband’s list of things to do. The actual corrected part was not available for another month. So he'd have to make two visits to a dealership. No where did the letter state how serious the recall notice was. Later that day my husband called Ford at the customer service number listed on the letter. He asked how likely it was for anything serious to occur. “Not very likely” is what he was told. “Well, guess what happened at 4:30 a.m. today”, my husband told him. He was transferred to another number and told the story. He told Ford how lucky we and they are that he was not calling about a different ending to the story. Ford asked my husband what he wanted. “I just want a conversation with someone at Ford” is what he said.

We received a letter a couple weeks later from Ford simply stating that Ford had sent us several letters over the years (huh? we’ve lived in 3 homes in 3 years at one point and only recently had received two letters sent regular mail). There was no mention of “sorry, we see that this is your second Ford truck you’ve owned” or anything else. They stated they have no liability and for us to work with our auto insurer. The end. BTW we have since received another letter about this VOLUNTARY recall advising us to have the part replaced as there may be a potential for a fire to start while parked or moving.

We did some research and have found that this has happened to many, many people out of the 9.6 million Ford vehicles* recalled. There are lawsuits in Georgia and Texas from lives lost when fires from under the hood of Fords parked in the garage caused the entire house to burn down. There are many, many stories of houses burning down, with no lives lost.

The recalled part is the speed control deactivation switch. Fluid can drip, drip, and the electrical component is always energized and can spark a fire. The new part to fix it costs $20.

We are lucky. The fire under the hood of our Ford burned nothing around it. It had rained really hard that night so the trees were wet. There was nothing in the Ford except for music cds. Our auto insurance claim was as fair as if we sold it to a private party (we’re so glad we didn’t sell it to anyone). We have other vehicles. The money helped as I was laid off 3 weeks prior to this event and it took 4 months to find another job. We bought a smaller truck to replace it (Hubs loves landscaping and DIY projects and is lost without a truck). It was not a Ford.

What else we learned: we are mostly cell phone users and they are usually left downstairs. We now have an extra cell left on bedroom floor of house at all times. I only let myself imagine for about 5 seconds how our sons' bedroom is separated down a long hall from us and how they’d be trapped from us if the unthinkable had happened. We’ve talked about different plans and scenarios since then.

According to Ford there are still millions of vehicles not yet repaired. Please forward this to anyone you know with one. All you have to do is enter the vehicle PIN here.

List of vehicles affected from Ford's website:

Trucks:1997-2002

Expedition1998-2002

Navigator2002-2003

Blackwood1993-1996

Bronco2000-2003

Excursion (built prior to 11/4/02)1992-2003

Econoline E-150/250/3501996-2003

Econoline E4502002-2003

Econoline E5501998-2002

Ranger1998-2001

Explorer/Mountaineer2001-2002

Explorer Sport (2 door) &

Sport Trac2003-2004 F-150

Lightning1993-2003

F-Series (Under 8500 lb. GVW)1993-2003

F-Series (over 8500 lb. GVW) – all plants except Cuautitlan1994-2003

F-Series (over 8500 lb. GVW) – Cuautitlan built only prior to 1/7/031995-2002

F-53 Motorhome Cars:1992-1998

Town Car1992-1998

Crown Victoria1992-1998

Grand Marquis1993-1998

Mark VIII1993-1995

Taurus SHO (automatic transmission)1994 Capri

*equipped with speed control. Diesel engine equipped vehicles are excluded from recall

Still Not Into Flying the Friendly Skies

A few months ago I wrote about my fear of flying and bulleted the things I imagine going wrong. I flew this past week and it was no better than when I flew in December. In fact it was worse. It was in a smaller plane. You know, if you can drive to your destination in the same amount of time that it takes you to drive to the gargantuan-sized airport, park, get through ticketing, wait around, wait on the tarmac for your plane’s turn to take off, breathe in all the germies on a plane, and deal with FRICKIN turbulence, land and thank God for the plane not crashing, get a rental car, drive, and check into a hotel, I am not seeing the benefit. Seems around here I am the only one who feels this way. At least in the car I get to call my friends and listen to my 80’s music, and pull into a rest stop when I want.

After reaching our altitude, the flight attendants announced to keep seatbelts on the whole time. The turbulence started when they had their beverage cart in the aisle. That was a little helpful to me as I figured if they weren’t strapped in then it must be just another day’s work. In fact to keep myself calm I asked them (as if I had never been on a plane before), “Is this turbulence, and is this normal”? And she stated that yes, due to the size of the smaller plane you feel it more and they are used to it. OK that helped a little. At one point I exhaled through my nose really loud and the young guy next to me turned and looked at me. When he looked away I held my hand out and it was shaking like a leaf. I once went down a water slide with one of my sons. When we got off the ride my hands were shaking. Also, I will not get on a roller coaster if you paid me.

The next day I had to fly back home. The hotel left a USA today paper outside my door. Cover story was about the flight in Buffalo that crashed into a house and how the pilot and co-pilot were “chit-chatting” while less than 10,000 feet and printed their dialogue and details. So I read it. Not like that helped the anxiety or anything. Then I noticed the crew on my plane was also a middle-aged man and co-pilot was a female about 26 years old. I know it is not right to be discriminatory, but I want the pilots to be ex-Air Force pilots. Experienced pilots, please do not retire early!

When I walked in the door my middle son hurried over to me, wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for a long time (we both were glad to a return of the same routine). My youngest was in line right behind him to do the same. That is on my list of the best things I’ve felt all year.

Flowers, and the Full Moon is on Saturday

My husband is a plant man. Not formally trained, more like he’s had on-the-job-training. I did not know this when we courted. This was a character bonus that emerged after we were married and finding our way career-wise. He worked for a couple years in-town at a landscape re-wholesaler and learned a lot.

We have lived in a few houses since then and few weekends go by in which he's not outside doing something in the yard or buying something for the yard. You know how it feels to score some real good retail finds for us ladies? You know when you bring home all this loot and can’t wait to tell whoever you can how much you got on sale or got the last one, or found the perfect match? He's the same way with plants. In our last house there was one Pikes nursery in our town and he'd come home all elated with the incredible bargain prices he'd pay for a clematis, or buckeye or viburnum. The nursery didn't think they were thriving so they'd be found on the equivalent of a clearance rack or the "scratch and dent" pile. But he didn't always show me his purchases.

You know how sometimes when you come home after shopping you do not exactly unload your vehicle until later….such as when your husband is not home so that you can put away your new clothes and new shoes in your closet in private? He is the same way, except with plants. If I’m outside when he gets home he can’t hide them from me too long. But many times I have seen him hide them around the corner of the house very quickly (so I will not ask questions like how much did it cost).

Oh, he is not a procrastinator--if I'm not there when he gets home he has been known to get those plants in the ground immediately and then I may notice them weeks later. When the boys were younger he’d take them with him on these errands. If I was home when they’d return, he’d train them to tell me that they’d been shopping for me. They’d say, “Look at the flowers Daddy bought you”. (that was his back-up plan to justify the new flora or fauna).

My man is a doer, and not a mushy, sweet-talker. He can write these things though. A few times a year. He's written in many a card after our 20+ years of marriage, that he may not buy me flowers often but he will keep flowers in the yard. And it is timely too because our wedding anniversary is in April, when the first rose will bloom. And by Mother’s Day there are many other kinds of flowers starting to bloom. In in birthday June I clip the gardenias and bring them in the house and to work.

I like that the month of May’s full moon is called the Flower Moon.
It seems very apropos.
Have a beautiful Mother’s Day.

Creeping Crud

The one bad thing about having lots of green plants outside is that it is guaranteed that my youngest son will get attacked by poison ivy each year. It started out about 4 days ago as a small line of tiny blisters. It got worse than I imagined. By evening it was worse than this photo. So tonight he tells me, “You said you’d take me to the doctor if it was worse today, so can you take me to the Minute Clinic”? You see, the thing is that for us the go-to doctor has turned into the Minute Clinic down the street inside the CVS. Yes, they have seen each and every one of us. Except for me, because as the mom I am not allowed to get sick.

It started out two fall seasons ago. My husband had a bad sore throat and was aching all over and we had heard about the Minute Clinic. So off he goes and returns shortly with a diagnosis of strep throat , an antibiotic in hand, and the receipt for me showing he paid our usual copay. (Side note: if an Rx is needed it is not required to be filled at that store. If needed, go for the $4.00 generic at Walmart, Kroger or Target, or free at Publix (there are 8 types they fill for free such as amoxicillin, and Cipro). I swear this is not an ad. I do get passionate about medical savings.

Same scenario of hubs’ strep occurrence and strep management four weeks later. And again 4 months later. I couldn’t believe it the first time he received a hand-written “Hope you are feeling better” card in the mail signed by the nurse at the Minute Clinic. My two older sons have been in to the Minute Clinic for strep tests as well. And last year we had our first (and am pretty sure not our last) visit to the ER when our youngest gashed his arm open and needed 6 staples. We were told to come back in 10 days for removal. But staple removal was a service the Minute Clinic could provide as well. And the boys have received Get Well cards in the mail too.

Tonight I took my 8 year old son down the street to the Minute Clinic because the Caladryl does not seem to be working and when he has large tears dripping out of those super long lashes I want to lay on the floor and cut off my own arm if it will just make him feel better. OK, that was dramatic but this boy hardly ever cries and likes to keep up with the older guys. Which is how he got the poison ivy. Tonight I asked, “When your older brother had his (13 year old) friends over the other night and you guys were all outside playing Manhunt, were you squeezing through bushes by any chance”? And he told me that he did hide under some leaves and stuff.

We braced ourselves for perhaps a dozen people at the CVS waiting for Swine Flu diagnosis. Nope, there was no one in line and the Rx cream was ready before I could even find the oatmeal bath powder and Benadryl.

I count our blessings that we are lucky in that we’ve not needed to have many visits with doctors and specialists. I am glad that my family has choices on where to go for these types of diagnosis’, and that we’ve had success with one of those choices. And I can tell you that poison ivy and my son will meet again this summer.