The Third Child is in Middle School and I'm All Renegade

I know I have posted several times about how many tests are in elem and middle school and here I go again.  When my youngest son was in his last year of elem school last year, the burn out of our kids was really apparent.  By December there are already so many tests--teachers and principals are asked to have so many -- all to prep for the Big Test in April for which teachers have to make sure their students pass.  Or else there are bean counters in the county office watching. 

In early Sept the kids are tested to assess how ready they are for the Big Tests in April.  Then of course you have other tests for grades (which mean nothing now because you can be passed to the next grade for poor grades but not if you didn't pass the Big Tests in April).

Then there is the IQ test which isn't clear to anyone that that is what it is (called the Cogat) and then there is the ITBS--the National Test which is the only "bubble in worksheet" test I had to take as a kid.

In December the students are tested Again for the Big Tests in April to again assess the status of where extra help may be needed to do well on the Big Test.

My third son was excited about middle school earlier in the year being able to see new kids from the one school he had previously attended his whole life and also being able to have several male teachers.  This week the teachers were honest with the kids as they told my son that coming up are two days in which they will be tested to see how they will do on the Big Tests--AND that they will see some info they have not yet been taught so to just guess and do their best.  And that it doesn't count for a grade but to try their best anyway.

The following week after these assessment tests are "midterms" on the material they Have learned and it IS for a grade.

So, guess who is staying home for two days?  It turns out that I had scheduled dental appts for two sons one of those afternoons.  But I am doing what I can to try and eliminate some burn out.  And make a statement.  They have have the scores from last April.  Kids don't sway much much how they score year to year.  My three children have been consistent every year.  Sitting in classes taking more tests on some material not even learned yet is not ideal.  But my son and I are lucky in that I am home and can have him home with me. 

BTW, one male teacher is super cocky and told us parents on curriculum night that he is very competitive with the results of the Big Test in April and each year tells his students if they have the best scores in all of the other classes then he will do something they vote upon like wear a dress.

His students are the kids who have been in the "gifted" classes in elem school.  I am not understanding what he is worried about.  He will never have a student placed in his class who just moved from another area and has a file about 3 inches thick with behavior issues, poor grades and a lack of parenting.

Other teachers I know agree it is a waste of time.  I should add up the hours taken away from teaching something interesting or doing something creative due to all this pre-testing of the Big Tests.

Why do we have the state criteria Big Tests in April?  Because once upon a time parents demanded schools with good test scores.  Hubs suggests that I attend a County Board Meeting and speak my opinion to the School Board or somehow let other parents know what is what about all this pre-testing.  It would definitely be an example to the Board of why some many parents would prefer a Charter School (which is a slippery slope to think of the behaviors and grades then left remaining in the schools).  Hubs has already spoken up enough on many items to most likely have his name written down on lists in the county office.

So tomorrow I will have my 6th grader at home.  He always helps with whatever I ask.  He is better at cleaning his bathroom than either of his brothers and he will reorganize the pots and pans cupboard and dust the furniture.  And we will have hot chocolate.

We Are Having Thanksgiving Today (in December)

Home Sweet Home.  November was a killer month for me with travel for work.  Then there was travel for Thanksgiving.

Before Hubs and I had kids we always stayed home for Thanksgiving and went to or hosted Thanksgiving with other no-kids couples.  Then we schlepped all around for Christmas.  Once we had children we went to FL for T-giving where Hubs has many siblings and his mom and there'd be a round robin switch up each year. 

It is easy to travel when kids are little but not as much when they are bigger than you.

Have you ever had a thought and presented it to Hubs and he didn't get it, but then a week or month later your partner may have had the same thought and then you think to yourself how once again it took him a while to catch up to what you already knew and suggested?

I had to be in Michigan for three days and got home the Friday before Thanksgiving.  This year Hubs' mom wasn't doing well and so Hubs decided to spend most of Thanksgiving with her.  It may have been best for me to stay with the kids at home.  That gave me one day at home before we drove the 7 hours to FL.

Hubs is one of six children and in the words of a friend of mine who is the only child and faces sole responsibility when her mother is ill, it doesn't necessarily make the communication and planning easier  with six children and their spouses and children.  It is never easy for anyone.

I had to work T-giving week, which I can do anywhere as long as there is wifi....so I spent the week at an in-laws with the boys and only saw Hubs on Thanksgiving day, at the get-together of another in-laws.

All that is easier to do at home when I can cook for these boys which is not as easy to feed them all the time at other people's houses. 

And then of all wild things I got a new client in FL who wanted to meet with me the Tuesday after Thanksgiving so Hubs left FL the day after Thanksgiving with the boys and another sibling took over to be with his mom and I stayed.

I did have a great time with my sister in laws.

They are crazy and make me do Black Friday which this year started T-giving night so I was at stores from 9:00 pm on T-giving till 3:30 am Friday.

And I did find peace and walk on the beach for 30 minutes on two days:

Since we have traveled to FL for each Thanksgiving (except for one when we hosted it in GA) for the past 16 years, I have cooked our own Thanksgiving dinner the weekend after Thanksgiving.  I highly recommend this--you get leftovers!

It was early in Thanksgiving week that Hubs stated what I had stated previously--that this will most likely be our last Thanksgiving for traveling to FL.  It was bound to happen with our oldest being a senior in high school next year and then who knows where after that.

As each generation gets older, traditions change and sometimes change is not easy for some people.  But today we are having our 14 lb turkey and butternut squash soup and all the fixings and no pie but lots of brownies and cookies.