Got my Dexter Fix

I never mentioned how I finally discovered Netflix streaming this past December.  I was ecstatic to have a week off between Christmas and New Years and thanks to Eldest, finally joined the bandwagon that is Netflix streaming.I looked through my choices and saw that I could watch Dexter--a show that I'd heard others mention.

And oh, it was good.  I'd crack up the boys when they'd see me on the laptop every chance I could get and even talking to their friends' parents about it.  Sure I tried to space out the episodes, but by the end of the week I had watched the first two seasons.  It is just too easy on Netflix to watch one after the other.

So I looked for Season 3...and it is not available on streaming! I was so blindsided!  I signed up for an actual dvd to be sent to me from Netflix but found out it was unavailable.  I was desperate and shopped around and bought season 3 on Amazon!!  It was a deal.  By the time I got it, it was perhaps February.  Then, season 4 WAS available on dvd at Netflix, but get this--all four discs do not arrive at once.  They arrive one at a time.  To to help space it out and make my Dexter last somehow I had the willpower toi get a dvd for the kids in between my Dexter dvds. 

I have been Dexter-less for a couple of months.  That's because I've been saving the very last dvd for now.  The week that I am alone.  Like a celebration.  Or part of my ritual (eeewww--Dexter had his rituals too).  So last week I returned a non-Dexter dvd that had been in the house for weeks.  But then with everything else going on in my world, I completely forgot to make the last disc of Dexter season 4 on the top of my queue.  I was all ready to check out my mailbox for Dexter and I realized something else was already on its way to me!!  Desperate again.  I called Netflix, ready to increase my subscription from a "one dvd" to a "Two dvd" plan and get the Dexter disc to me asap. 

I spoke to a rep named Walker (yes, I had a crush instantly) and explained that I was trying to get the last disc of Dexter now that the guys in my house were away for a week (can you believe me??) and instead I am getting a movie that was meant for them, but I have to see Dexter.  And Walker, told me he would send it out right away and I didn't even have to sign up for the other plan. 

It came in the mail yesterday.  I was a little disappointed that the last disc only had ONE episode on it.  I tried to play it......but none of the four remotes and I could figure out how to do it.  And the guys have the laptop.  And youngest has the portable dvd player with him.  Yes, I was that desperate to consider watching it on a 7-inch portable dvd player.  And the techno gurus of the house were....incommunicado at the campground on the north side of the Grand Canyon.

But tonight I got my Youngest on the phone and he walked me through it--it took about 8 buttons on two remotes.  I was so grateful.  And now I am done with Dexter until Season 5 comes on dvd in August.

So it is off to join the guys on roads like this:

Seeing some crazy things like this:

And crossing over bridges that are famous and not so famous like this:

I may be late to post about the Full Strawberry Moon in June but it is on June 15th--hope it shines bright on you!

I've Said a Ton of Swear Words This Week and Have a Bunch in this Post

On Tuesday of this week our garage was filled with all of our camping and road trip supplies, ready to be loaded into the Suburban for road trip take-off Wednesday morning.  Hubs was at his last day of school as required for the teachers, prior to the long-awaited road trip.  I was at my job.

And then in the afternoon at work without any hint I was given this due to a company restructuring:

Fuck.

So you've frequently heard how I am busy from  morning till night with my job (for which I'd sometimes have to travel) and with 1 tween and 2 teenage children and dinner and their activities. What I've never written before is how miserable my job made me.  For the past 2+ years it's been common to hear one is lucky to have a job in this economy.  And sure, the devil you know keeps you around longer for fear of the devil you don't know.

I had started to job search a couple of months ago, feeling like the economy was in a better place for hiring now than a year ago.  But I wanted to be the one to turn in a letter of resignation, not the other way around.  I should have been spending my nights and weekends more on job searching than reading about things to do in Arizona and New Mexico.

In my blog profile I state that I drive like a bat out of hell after work every day to be with my family.  Here is an actual quote from my former boss a few months ago who works 24/7 and is a parent and had to go pick up her child: "This parenting thing is interfering with my work life!"  

So, yeah.  Not a good fit at all.  Fuck 'em.

And it was making me sick.  My stomach hurt every morning.  My blood pressure has always been 110/70 but not anymore.  I've gone up a clothes size.  Just 3 weeks ago I was asked to fly to a new meeting in another state.  But now I don't have to fly anywhere any more for work.  My blood pressure feels better already.

Maybe the timing wasn't so bad after all.  If it had happened let's say two weeks ago, Hubs may have freaked out and not gone on the trip.  He did freak out, but they still went, and I am glad (they are in the mountains in north New Mexico right now having a blast).

And I swear I would be stressing out about work during my vacation next week if this had not happened.  I'm keeping my plane ticket to join them as planned next week.  But instead of flying back alone to get to a work meeting the third week of June, I will be driving back with my guys.  I think this iconic road trip will be even more fucking fantastic than I ever thought before.  

So, what's been going on these past 4 days since I got the news?  I felt initial shock and weepiness during the first 48 hours, but in these second 48 hours I have felt happier and healthier than in a long time.  I have been laughing with freedom on the phone with friends--which has not been the case in a while.

People I don't even know in real life have been kinder to me these past few days than the people I used to see at work every day.  Friends have given me more of their time over the past few days than any of these people I saw every day.  Old friends are my family of choice and have given me more than words can say.  Thank you.  I've reached out to business contacts I've known through work and have received empathy, business leads, and encouragement.  To all of these people I have given my true self; all of these people know the authentic me.

Who knows when I will be employed again, but everyone in my family is healthy, our home was not torn apart in a tornado and I am taking this opportunity to be good to myself and spend time with the people who matter most.  I can always make money again.

My job is gone, but I have kept the strength of my character.

Blessings are often disguised.

The Motherlode Iconic Road Trip (Without the Mom for Part of It)

We've been planning a road trip from Georgia to California for a few months.  Actually we were planning it last year for June of 2010 but decided not to after rising gasoline prices.  It was a good choice because Hubs ended up getting appendicitis while at home on July 1st and he would have been in Utah or somewhere at that time.  So last summer the guys ended up being on the beach for 40 days over two trips.

So now that gasoline costs even higher (!!) we decided that a road trip was in order.  Crazy, I know, but with our oldest son turning 15 next week and getting his learner's permit that day (hopefully) we decided several months back that no matter we needed to go on a big road trip this year.  This fall the boys will be in 10th, 8th and 5th grades and Oldest won't be a fan of 3-week summer trips much longer.

We will pay a lot for gas; we will pay little for lodging....there'll be lots of camping and campground meals.

Every night for the past 8 weeks we have planned and researched and planned and googled and visited Trip Advisor between 10:30 p.m. and midnight--totally not joking.  We have purchased a huge Coleman tent that can pop up in 3 minutes.  We've bought a 25 gallon Coleman cooler.  We bought a cargo hitch by Valley that attaches to the back of the Suburban.  A waterproof bag by Highland to keep our containers dry.  We bought a portable propane grill to go with our campstove. A canopy to go over the picnic table, a new queen blowup mattress to go with the other queen and a twin.  It is just about all in our living room right now.

Our Chevy Suburban has taken the family to the Southern most point of the U.S. in Key West three years ago, and to Colorado and South Dakota and back two years ago.  For more U.S. extremes, it will take us to the lowest elevation in Death Valley (can't believe this biggest U.S. park is just 80 miles from the highest mountain in the lower 48)!

The Plan: On June 1st Hubs and the boys will drive from Georgia to near Little Rock, Arkansas.  This is after we take Oldest to the DMV to take his driver's test for his learner's permit.  School may have ended two days ago for the summer, but he has some traffic signs and road rules to learn this weekend!  This way he can tell his kids one day he drove on Route 66 when he was just 15! 

Sadly, I will be left behind for the first week. I'm not a teacher!  Fortunately I have vacation days, but not that many.  I will join them via a flight to Las Vegas on their Day 8 and I will leave them on their Day 19 on another flight back home.  I will be missing out on New Mexico and Four Corners and Monument Valley in AZ and the North Rim of the Grand Canyon.  However, I will join them for Hoover Dam, Death Valley, Highway 395 east of the Sierra Nevadas, San Francisco to Big Sur, maybe Sequoia Nat'l Forest, back into Arizona and South Rim Grand Canyon, Flagstaff and Sedona, AZ.  The goal is for the boys to see the Pacific (I lived in West L.A. for 16 years and also Hubs and I honeymooned on Calif coast 24 years ago) and then choose to spend more time somewhere next year.

The road trip will be over 5,000 miles and in 11 states and take 23 days.  Not enough time, and it'll be crazy, but there is a reunion that has been years in the making that we have to attend in FL on June 24th.  We like road trips in June because many schools are still in session, even though the weather in some places/elevations is still cool.

Our huge family road trip 2011 is just a few days away.  There'll be photos and updates along the way.  Oldest kicks off the road trip on his birthday, the next full moon will be seen on the beach in Big Sur, and my birthday will be in Arizona near Flagstaff.  Even though I have read and read and accumulated huge library fines, I welcome your not-to-miss suggestions.

Fun on Friday Night is Becoming My New Motto

Don’t they say that if you stick to something for 21 days it becomes a habit?  Well, I am on consecutive week number three of making plans for myself for Friday night.  This past fall and winter, Middle Son played roller hockey and had games on Friday days.  Hubs and I both hated that.  It was so easy to forget and then at the end of the work day we’d talk on the phone and groan, “omg can’t believe we have to go on Friday night (and it wasn’t at 6:00—it was usually 8:00 or even 9:00 p.m.!!).  It was the last thing Son wanted to do either on Friday night so all of us are happier this spring about that.

So earlier this week I made Friday plans with a friend I have known here in town for 17 years (that was pre-children…my oldest son is about to turn 15).  Here’s how we met.  Hubs and I made a guy friend about 20 years ago who worked on my car.  He was married and we all agreed to meet for camping if you can believe that was our first get together and the next year we once went on an island vacation with them—it was awesome to share our secluded spot in the Bahamas.  Six months later the wife leaves our guy friend.  Six months later it is summer again and we go out to dinner with our guy friend, who brings along new girlfriend.  We all got along great and at dinner guy friend invites girlfriend along for the next island vacation…which was planned for 12 months in the future.  They remained a couple (despite girlfriend having to hear so much about the prior island vacation with the ex) and we did indeed all vacation together in the Out Islands of the Bahamas the following summer.  Two kids later for us we did go on another island vacation together.  About five years after this, the girlfriend leaves our guy friend.  And we are no longer friends with the guy friend but the girlfriend has remained my friend.

And I am ashamed to say that I haven’t been a good friend this past year by not keeping in touch over the past 10 months and I hope to change that.

Tonight we are going to have Mexican food for dinner so we can spend 2 or three hours talking—an hour at lunch just won’t do to catch up.  A couple of days ago I informed Hubs that I was going out again on Friday night.  Don’t feel bad for Hubs, because I just called home and talked to Oldest Son and Hubs is with his coworkers at a neighborhood joint, after dropping off Youngest Son at a friend’s for a couple hours.  Around the time I will get started on my guacamole and chips, Hubs will be picking up Youngest and driving Oldest to a friend’s.  Middle Son gets off the middle school bus at 5:00, will stock up on a snack and water and is allowed to skateboard himself to a nearby park until 7:30 p.m.  I have no idea what any of these three children will do for dinner.  We are fresh out of cereal except for Honeycomb although I have 4 boxes of cereal in my trunk from my 3x/weekly lunchtime trip to the grocery for items needed.  Fortunately I have taught them to make grilled cheese, at which Youngest does the best job in the kitchen.

I think everyone in my house enjoys the break on Friday, including repose from my homework/grades-harping and state-of-the-bedrooms declarations.

TGIF!

Full Flower Moon and Friday Nights

Tonight is the full moon called the full flower moon.

I never thought before about the lore of when to plant according to the moon’s schedule.  Our household rule is to wait until after April 15^th to be sure of no more frost.  This year I planted vegetables on the full moon.  In the past four weeks those plants have more than quadrupled in size.  So, we’ll see.  In the meantime, Hubs has kept every side of the house full of flowers and there is much purple this year.

There is also lavender that has bloomed with pretty purple flowers on top.


So what is going on with Friday nights?  Well, after all of these years I have finally realized that I was not living up to the saying of TGIF.  I know that it is because of the gorgeous spring weather that’s made me motivated to spend some time out of the house, and in doing so I have realized that by doing something fun on Friday nights it makes the perfect kick-off to the weekend.  Of course the boys are getting older and are able to stay at home by themselves if need be, and old enough to make themselves happy at the skate park and be back home by 7:30. 

My Friday night activities have varied and been immensely enjoyed.  One Friday in April I met with another blogger and it is surreal and fun talking face to face with someone whose printed words I only previously knew.  Another Friday I met Hubs at an outdoor café with his female coworkers who shared with me that when they see Hubs without a homemade lunch about once every other month they say, “Oh, I guess Michele is out of town?"

Another Friday I met a friend for dinner and then we saw Water for Elephants while sitting in the second row from the screen.  I had a neck ache the next day but guess what?  With no humans in any rows in front of us, or to the side of us there were no annoying loud breathers, talkers, or texters.  I read the book a couple years ago and loved the knowledge I gained about the circuses in our country’s past, and I have always been fascinated by elephants’ intelligence, compassion, and matriarchal family ties. I enjoyed the movie.

This past Friday I got home at 6:00 p.m. after driving back three hours to and from a meeting.  I walked in the house to change clothes and use the restroom and then all five of us headed out to a nearby Mexican restaurant for dinner.  Then it was off to the grocery store for something sweet.  This is what Hubs always has to do.  Ninety per cent of the time after we go out to eat, we have to stop at the grocery store and walk through the cookie and ice cream aisle.  I think he loves it when the boys are with us because with three of them carrying four packages of cookies and a container of ice cream in their hands, it looks like it could be all for those growing boys, and maybe as if the parents are not involved in the sugar addiction party that was about to take place.

Then Hubs and I watched Blue Valentine on dvd.  The acting by Ryan Gosling was great (award nominee) but the filming went back and forth in the past a lot in this story of a crumbling marriage.  I say you can take a pass.


So lots of flowers to enjoy this month of May as well as Friday night activities.  Can’t complain about that.

Bad Behavior on a Plane....and an Update on the Ultimate Gift

I’m happy to report that there were no TSA moments involved in my airport visits in and out of the Atlanta and Orlando airports last week.  All one needs to do is pay attention to what line you choose at security and pick the line (where you place your items on the belt) that still uses the old fashioned metal detector.  So this summer when I have to go back to the Tulsa, OK airport at which the body scanners have replaced all the regular metal detectors?  Not sure yet what to do.

However, on the flight from Atlanta to Orlando I observed some amazingly rude behavior.  The plane was getting full and I was in my window seat on the plane’s left and people were still boarding.  Down the row comes a mother and her two sons around ages 13 and 8.  The three seats to my right of the aisle were empty at this point and one son asks her if this is where they are sitting and she tells him no, that their seats are in the back.  I continue to read and look out the window.  The next thing I knew I saw the same family of three get into the three seats on my right.  A minute or so later a young woman about age 20 said to the mom of the two boys, “Excuse me, Ma’am?”  And the mom ignored her.  “Excuse me, Ma’am?” again. 

The 20 yr old said, “My boarding pass says that this is my seat.”

The mom: “Well someone was in our seats.”  And looks out her window and totally dismisses the 20 yr old as if it was the end of the conversation.

The 20 yr old said, “Well, it does not matter if I sit in a different seat, but there is the issue that the airline assigned me this seat.”

The mom tells her the same thing (in a rude, dismissive tone again).

At this time the male flight attendant arrives at the row of seats.  It really makes me wonder if the 20 yr old was a man if this same dismissive, rude tone would have been used by the mom.

Flight attendant to mom, “What is your assigned seat?”  Mom tells him that it is row 31 but someone is in those seats.

Flight attendant looks toward the back of plane and of course he knows all the numbers of the rows.

Flight attendant says, “There is no one in those seats and you need to get into your assigned seats.  And you have about 3 minutes.”

Wow.  All I can say is the TSA randomly using the body scanners does not make me feel safer but the presence of some other people on the plane do.  If there are a bunch of men around the cockpit door I feel safe.  Isn’t it male passengers who have thrown recent freaks acting funky to the aisle floor?

This story involves a freak trying to get to pilots the other day and luckily a flight attendant, secret service and police office were there.


This story and this story tells of passengers intervening recently in two separate incidents.

    *     *     *     *    *     *     *     *     *

On the complete flip side of rude, selfish behavior, here is a news clip of the kidney swap done at Emory Hospital a couple weeks ago.  The three healthy men who gave a kidney are doing well and so are three men and boys who received a kidney.  The 7 yr old who lives near us was in fact running around a few days later.  Most of the givers and receivers just happened to be at Emory for their two-week post operation check-up the other day and while in the waiting room they figured out who was who, the journalist and camera operator were called in and this was on the news last night.  Four men and a boy (the other boy was not there at the time) sitting next to each other after the kidney swap.  It seems as though they are bonded for life.

Now I'm Terrified of some Airports As Much As Flying

I am a horrible "flyer" and when a flying trip is imminent I feel much anxiety and don't even get me started on what thoughts go through my brain during a flight, especially if there is any turbulence.

And then added to my flying experience--ever since this past fall--is the fear of the airport having only body scanners.  Last September I was at the Atlanta airport with my boss and not paying as much attention as I should have and the next thing I knew as I was putting my shoes on the security belt, is that I was in line for one of the few body scanners in place at the huge airport.  Fortunately it seemed as if the TSA workers were just learning about the machine and perhaps it malfunctioned because they turned it off a few passengers in front of me.

I had to fly again in November but I knew to just get in a security line that did not have one of the body scanners.

But then in December I had to fly to Tulsa, OK and this airport has ONLY body scanners--the former metal detector scanners are there but they have a sash in front of them to show they are not being used.  I was with my boss again on this trip and he looked ahead and stated that it looks like this is the day we have to "take nudie pictures".   I stated that I would opt out.  I told the TSA worker in the "shoe/luggage conveyor belt" area that I was opting out and she thought of many things to tell me to try and dissuade me and asked if I still wanted to opt out and I said yes.

Fortunately a different worker was summoned over past the body scanner machines (and there are only 3 or 4 at the Tulsa airport) to do my pat down, which is more of a rub down.  Of course, having a rub down I feel is completely wrong, as is having to be radiated from head to toe in a body scanner.  However, it was very brief, and I am sure that I share the same mental state as many in this position--there is a plane to catch, the other anxiety of flying itself, and the focus on Getting Home to my family.

Since December I have had to fly to Jackson, MS and Albuquerque, NM and fortunately those airports only have a few body scanners so I make sure I am not in that security line.

Interesting incident: there was an incident at a nearby high school in which a male student was dared by another student to touch a female student on the breast as he walked by her at school.  The male student was suspended from school for a week, the police showed up, and who knows what else resulted.  I said, “See, Son, it is against the law to touch someone without their consent.  You’ll learn at work that you cannot touch someone even if it is to pat their shoulder, and you certainly cannot touch someone in a private part of their body – Oh, unless it is the TSA.” (my kids know how I feel about this).  I continued, “For some reason a TSA agent is allowed to touch anyone of any age on their private parts and not get in trouble, but on the other hand as you have learned in all other areas of our law it is Not OK to touch someone in any other capacity.”

And then in April I had to go to Tulsa, OK again for business.  I told the male TSA worker by the conveyor belt that I was opting out.  I was brought over to the area past the body scanner for my pat down and the female TSA worker was NOT nice and asked several times if I had opted out before and I told her yes, here a few months ago. 

This time I was violated even more than the last time because it really stands out in your brain when someone touches your outer labia and vulva.  Even if it is on top of your clothes.  Last time this did not happen--last time I was told every move that was being made and the agent seemed apologetic that she had to run her fingers inside the waistband of my pants.   These rub downs are not consistent at the same airport.

I was left standing there while the TSA worker went over to an area and wiped lord knows what all over her gloves.  Then she tells me I am done.  Of course I should have reported her but the thing with traveling for business is I have a plane to catch that was paid for by my company, and somewhere to be for work the next day, a paycheck to earn, and most importantly, a family I wanted to see that night.

I am supposed to be in Tulsa again in a few months.  I will choose to fly into a different city, such as Oklahoma City, and drive the two hours to and from the meeting to that airport.  I will make sure I research that airport and any other new cities I may have to visit and learn if like at Tulsa there are ONLY body scanners.

This violation was not a quick thing that that was over when it was over.  It has really affected me emotionally and mentally.  If it ever has to happen again I now need to plan in advance that I will not have it done.  I understand that I will not be able to fly.  Luckily for me I am old enough to rent a rental car and am able to drive long distances.

This week I have to go to Orlando.  Who can advise me if there are only body scanners and not any "old fashioned" metal detectors there?  Note: It is only a 7 hour drive home.