Two Honeymoons

When I met my husband in college (just a few months before I graduated) I invited him over for dinner.  As I gave him directions to the apt I shared with some roommates, we noticed there was a theme with the number "two".  I told him I was 22 (so was he in 2 weeks).  The address had a two in it.  He was to take the second turn.  It was the second building and on the second floor.  The apt no. was 2.  We got married two years later.  Turns out we planned TWO honeymoons.

(Married at a home that looked like Tara. "You should be kissed and often and by someone who knows how.")

When we got married I had been at working for two months at post-college yucky job #2 and if I took a week off I wouldn't get paid so we honeymooned for a weekend.  The following weekend.  We got married on a Sunday (a brunch) and all my friends from California were bridesmaids and flew in Friday and left Sunday.  Hubs and I did take Monday off.  And then I went to work on Tuesday.  Pitiful.  Then Friday afternoon we drove from Atlanta to Savannah, GA, a four-hour drive.  We had a great time and it was April and beautiful with all the pink azaleas and pink and white dogwood trees.  We stayed for two nights in a bed and breakfast, and toured the lovely town squares and some old homes. 

It may have been around this time that we planned a trip to California for later in the summer.  I think what happened is one of my mother's oldest friends from Calif (where I grew up) attended our wedding and invited us to stay with her in Santa Monica anytime.  So I continued at this horrible job and planned our trip (back then you'd got to the library and find books on bed and breakfasts and call and they would mail you a brochure).  I don't think my husband knew my plan but in August prior to our trip I quit my job.  (heehee, spending money on a vacation with no job....some things never change).

My husband had never been to California and I had never been anywhere north of Santa Barbara so for much of the trip it was new turf for both of us.  We flew to Los Angeles, got a rental car and stayed with my mom's friend for a few days, whom we barely saw, and we saw "my bridesmaids" whom my Hubs had met at the wedding and really liked.  One thing I'll never forget is we were at my friends house and she had some relatives over and they asked Hubs how he liked Calif (it was Santa Monica) and being the honest person that he is who forgets subtleties, says, "I like it.  But there are no trees and so much cement."  They reminded him that there never were many to begin with--just beans.

We then cruised up Highway 1, stopping in Big Sur for a couple of hours and then stayed in a B&B in Monterey.  We had a great dinner with a family we know in Carmel, went horseback riding in Big Sur, went to the aquarium on Cannery Row.  In fact, we were going to spend a couple days in San Francisco but liked it where we were too much to leave so added on a couple more days and never went more north.  Oh I do remember this--there was a couple at the horseback riding place that was on their FOUR WEEK honeymoon.  They had spent two weeks in Hawaii and then two weeks going up the Calif coast.  Gah.  I hated them.  But we had a great time and I had a horse that would stop to eat off bushes and get behind and then gallop like crazy to catch up over and over again and each time I'd let out a blood curdling scream.  They probably hated me.

We then drove Highway 5 back down to Los Angeles but also visited my grandparents in Palm Springs, which was very special to me.  This past summer, 24 years later, we did see San Francisco with our three boys and drove south on Highway 1 discovering different sites from the honeymoon number two.

Off to find the photo album to post photos--which I think is in the attic. (Update:  Went through the attic and bookshelves and cannot find our photos I know I put in an album.  These things always happen to me).

Go check out Gretchen's honeymoon in 'Nawlins and other Spin Cycle stories of honeymoons!

January Birthday

January was a month of house projects, room cleaning, getting busier at work (going well) trying to make time for me such as exercise (not going well).  It is also a month of a birthday--our middle son who turned 14.  Fourteen!  I'm a mom of many traits but taking many photos of my kids is not one of them and for that I am disappointed in myself--not one photo was taken on Christmas Day.  But hey--our middle son loves to film his friends at the skatepark every weekend and they took a photo of him and so I have snagged it:

I found that ever since I got an Iphone last March (the 3g for $49) I just use it for photos and have barely used my digital camera.  But on our son's birthday last week I took pictures of him blowing out his candles and opening his presents with my digital camera.  In fact I took several photos of him and the bros all night.  And then when I looked for the cord to use to get my camera hooked up to the "downstairs" computer, the cord is nowhere to be found.

That kind of sideline distraction always happens to me.  Yesterday morning I asked my middle son to show me step-by-step how to use the PS3 as a dvd player so that I can play Jillian's Shred dvd which has not been touched in 18 months.  The PS3 is in the basement which has carpeting. I had the dvd jacket in hand and he patiently showed me every step.  We then opened the dvd jacket and inside was some Ice Age 2 dvd.  Alrighty then.  I spent 20 minutes opening and closing about 100 dvds to find Jillian and she was nowhere to be found.  I decided at lunch I would go to Target and buy a new dvd because Jillian and the way she spoke to her two employees bugged me anyway.  That never happened.  But I did go grocery shopping for the third time in a week and fill the fridge and cupboards during my lunch hour.

The prior Friday, the day that we celebrated Middle Son's birthday, I did have everything I needed to make him a homemade cake with love during the day and that brought me much joy and thankfulness that I work from home and am able to cross some things off of my to-do list. 

(choc cake with peanut buttercream frosting with crushed Reeses Cups on the outside and crushed Butterfingers on top--idea taken from Piece of Cake).

Before we had cake at home we all went out to eat to a restaurant of Son's choice where you pick out all your meat or seafood and veggies and spices and sauce and they grill it for you Mongolian BBQ style.  The table next to us had three girls and when we left that Dad commented to my Hubs how maybe they should "mix it up a little."  To myself I thought about how much more I'd be spending on clothes and accessories if my boys were girls but lately I don't know--you should see the food bill.

Back to the January boy's birthday.  I never thought I'd have a January baby.  Our first son was born in June and his tried-for conception took six months.  When he was seven or eight months old we knew we wanted to try for baby #2 and it only took a few months.  He was conceived toward the end of April, but the prior month I didn't try.  I told Hubs I wanted to avoid a December b-day.  He thought I was nuts but I was a chart person and knew my dates.  When I was in my last two months of my 2nd pregnancy I'd talk to baby #2 and say, "Stay in a long as possible so you have a birthday as late in January as possible"--and he did.  He likes how it works out because he considers what he'd like for Christmas gifts in December and then he is on a roll and knows what he'd still like for his birthday in January.

When he was 2.8 years old he became a big brother:

These two share a room and clash a lot so I sure am glad that we took many old fashioned FILM photos when they were little.  When we had baby #3 at home we talked to the boys ahead of time about the birth and told them about cutting the cord and we assumed that oldest--who was 4.3 years old-- would be the one.  As it turns out, oldest took a hike to the playroom at that time so the newly "middled" son all nonchalantly said he'd cut the cord with Dad:

 I began my blog three years ago with my first post being about my middle son.  All week long I have thought about a blog post stating what is special about him.  And now they are all in the kitchen area and it is getting louder and all my chores need to begin.  When Hubs and I were expecting our first baby I remember telling him a fear was what if this new person in our family got on my nerves--there'd be no escape.  I remember that fear the most.  I can say my boys are some of my favorite people and I love being around them and it is even more so as they get older.

Oldest son goes to bed last because he has to wake up last for school.  So he dvrs shows per my request and we watch many together.  He is my buddy watching The Bachelor--we have perfected the eye rolling and head-shaking in tandem, and we have enjoyed Celebrity Wife Swap immensely.  When he was much younger I'd tease that I was going to do that show and it would only be for a week that another mom would be here and he'd strongly protest saying he did not want another mom here.  I feel that same way about him.

Spin Cycle: Tests, Tests and More Tests and More

I've tossed around a few ideas for this week's Spin Cycle, and today I'm going to take a stand on something I've gotten good at over the past ten years and that is speaking out when I don't agree with a process at my sons' public schools.

My youngest son is in 5th grade and so this is his last year of elementary school.  He gets good grades, but on top of any accolades I am most proud that he is respectful to adults and other children and is kind.

Ever since school resumed after winter break, he has dreaded going to school and many days has asked if he could stay home.  A big part of that I'm sure is that he was home for 17 days.  But then I asked him several times what his days are like and I put together a list of issues.

The first that breaks my heart is how lessons are being taught.  He came right out and told me, "There is nothing visual or hands-on anymore.  Everything we learn is on paper and pencil."  I told this quote to my husband.  It broke his heart even more than mine.  He is a teacher at the same school.  It breaks his heart that the school (the county, the state) is so focused on test scores.  Years and years ago parents and community took a stand for wanting to see good test scores.  I am seeing the unintended consequences of that. 

My husband has taught for almost 20 years--gone are the days when if your students really became engaged with World War I (for example) the class could engage in conversations for days.  Heck, social studies in 5th grade now encompasses the time period of 1776 to the 1950's.  Years ago teachers were able to implement creative assignments, bring in WWII veterans, take a field trip to the Jewish History Museum, etc.  The American Revolution to the 1950's.....!!

In April there is a state test and that is the curriculum for what teachers must teach from Mid-August to mid-April. In the beginning of this school year the principal told the parents how well the students did on last year's state tests as compared to the year before--a complete power point presentation with numbers comparing the % increases.  All the parents clapped.  I did not--to me that represents teachers teaching to the test.  You can be assured to know that if a teacher has a certain % of students that did not do well, an administrative bean-counter makes note of it.  Regardless if that non-ready child transferred into the school a month prior from some other school.

These tests in April (which includes students now as young as first grade for math and language arts) are by no means the only tests given.  When school begins in August, the students are tested in all subjects as required by the county for assessment.  In October there is the ITBS--the national test scores I recall when I was a kid.  In December there are county benchmarks again to identify those who need extra help prior to the big tests in April.  In January the 5th graders are tested on writing skills to identify those that need extra help for the state writing test in March, which must be passed.  In April is the state test I've previously mentioned.  The student must pass it or try again after summer school.  These are not one-day tests--with the exception of the writing test the other tests are every day for a week.  Of course every other week or more are "regular" tests given in all subjects by the teachers for report card grades.  Honestly--what do report card grades mean any more in elem school since the state tests must be passed to be promoted.

 

And there are more tests which should not be mandatory but many teachers—as directed by the leader of the school—push.  Have you heard of Accelerated Reader (AR)?  Many schools across the country have bought into this program in which students read a book for which the school has purchased a test.  The test is a 10-question multiple choice test to quiz whether the student has read the book.  Many, many good books are not considered to be AR (just because no test exists for it) and so students are guided by teachers and the media specialist to read only AR books.  Each book is categorized as having certain points.  A Harry Potter book would have many more points than a “first reader” book.  Each student has been tested to determine how many points their level of books should be (see there are EVEN MORE tests I have not even mentioned that occur monthly).  The better the reader, the higher points he is required to read.  The number of points are the end to the “AR party”.  My son could read 15 “Magic Treehouse” type books to achieve his goal.  Of course he’d have to take 15 tests. 

 

My son’s grades on his two report cards this year are 96% in 1^st quarter and 95% in 2^nd quarter.  You would think he would be excused from this requirement. Or that it would be voluntary.  And actually since my husband teaches at the same school I can tell you that he tells his students and parents about AR and if they want to read and get points and earn a party to do it but if not he will not promote it (but he advises that next year in 6^th grade it is actually 5% of the students grade!).  AR does not benefit him and it does not instill a love of learning.  Instead it has done the opposite (ditto with older sons)—and that breaks my heart.  There are many students for whom it may help to read more.  There are many, many students who do not score well in language arts and whose families speak 100% a different language. One thing he told me last week is, "My AR points for this quarter have increased from 15 points to 25 points!!"

 

So back to my discussions with my son.  There were a couple of other incidents at school last week.  He volunteers as a Safety Patrol student to help with bus call, etc.  Sometimes the role is to help clean off the tables in the cafeteria from the kids who get lunch in the a.m.  My son is a super cleaner (he gets it from Hubs) and a super talker.  7:30 a.m. while wiping a table is his is his only time to talk other than recess—and some cafeteria lady or teacher ragged on him (believe me I’ve investigated as to whether he was a goofball or disrespectful).  So he is cleaning up after kids and it is before school and it is a volunteer job and he is talking to kids he can't talk to at any other time during the day.  Also in his regular classroom (fortunately for him he is in there only 30% of the day) the teacher has him sitting with some boys that have behavior issues--because he is a role model.  One accuses him daily of stealing things from him such as “Hey that pencil sharpener is mine.  You stole it.”  And my son will tell him that no, he has had that sharpener since 3^rd grade.  He will stick up for himself with a student.  But it was a trying week for him.

 

I know my son is blessed with no medical issues, two parents, everything he could want in the material world, and kind teachers in his same school from K to 5^th.  But it is my job to listen to his life because it is not my life (and mine was different at age 11 so that is my issue).

 

What is the point of this whole essay on taking a stand against issues I don’t agree with at school?  To remind me to speak out at school and school meetings--even knowing it won't help everyone.  And help my son if I can.

This week I called the Guidance Counselor at his school for the first time in my life.  She has known him since Kindergarten, and tells my husband how much she likes our son and how he makes her laugh, but I have never called her before.  I gave her a more high-level account of the above.  Because even a bright, successful, kind student who has never been in trouble before nor has any socio-economic disadvantages sometimes also needs to be listened to by the counselor.

Visit Gretchen to read more Spin Cycles.

I'm Making Soup All the Time Now!

It's cold again and what could be better than warm soup.  Plus this one is the prettiest color ever.

I made in on Sunday but am joining this on Monday, hosted by Jan's Sushi Bar.

This past Thanksgiving I made this butternut squash soup to bring for a big family gathering at a relative’s house.  I made the soup that day but it could easily be made in advance and frozen.  I transported it in its soup pot and about an hour before serving time I poured it into a crock pot and everyone helped themselves.  It is so creamy and good and healthy that I just made it again.  This butternut squash soup has no chicken stock so you can say it is vegan approved.  I am not a vegan but I just like how that sounds.

 Butternut Squash Soup

3 lbs butternut squash

2-3 small-med potatoes- diced

2 celery sticks-diced

3 carrots-diced

1/3 cup onion chopped

8-10 cups of water

Salt and pepper

Some rosemary and thyme sprigs

First you will cut the squash in half lengthwise and then I place it in a pan that has a little bit of water in the bottom of it.  I cook mine cut side up.  Scoop out the seeds and discard.  Cook it at 350 degrees for about 35-40 mins or until a fork pierces it easily. 

In the meantime you will be making the vegetable stock: put everything else listed above into a soup pot and cook low.  You want the veggies to be soft.  Turn off the heat when it is ready, before you add the squash.  Take out the herbs and it is ok if you have pieces or herbs in there, or if you used fine herbs to begin with.

When the squash is done you can let it cool until cool enough to touch.  I then use a large dinner spoon to scoop out the squash from the skin.  Here is what it looks like if you put it into a bowl. 

Now you need to get it all blended together.  Prior to receiving an immersion blender for Christmas (that I bought for myself on Amazon after doing some research as to what is the cheapest and the best which won’t break--I picked a Waring and it was $29.95)…..I used a blender.  So if you have a blender you will need put your veggies and stock into some other container and add some of it at a time to the blender along with some squash and when it’s blended, add it to your soup pot.  OR with an immersion blender, just blend it all right in the soup pot:

Once it is all blended, if you want to freeze it when it is cool enough you can put it into your favorite containers or bags for the freezer.  If you want to eat it asap, just heat it up and slurp it up.  I can never stop at one bowl.  I have two and then practically have a soup-induced happy-coma.

The Dream that Preceded the "I Do"

 

With the new year and all I have decided to jump in on the Spin Cycle -- I don't think I have ever participated in a blog carnival and am excited to start.  The Spin Cycle host has now gone on a road trip hand off from FL to CA, to Gretchen now and each week she will toss out a theme.  This week’s theme is “Dreams”.  And for days I have not been able to get Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams” out of my head. (Thunder only happens when it’s raining, Players only love you when they’re playing, Women they will come and they will go, When the rain washes you clean you’ll know.  You will know.  Oh, oh, oh you’ll know).

I wanted to share a dream that my husband had about 27 years ago.  So, it’s not my dream but I was in his dream.  I had not thought about his dream for a while, but the other night we watched Matt Damon in The Adjustment Bureau.  When the movie ended Hubs said to me, “That was just like the dream I had before we were married.  The one in which I knew I was going to ask you to marry me.”

Ohhhhhh yeah!  It really was a lot like that movie.  

I had only been going out with Hubs for about 3.5 months when I graduated college first (I’m a year older hehehehe) and I moved to Atlanta which was about a 5 hour drive away.  About 3 weeks later I drove to visit him for the weekend and he asked me to marry him.  The next year we would be apart due to him finishing college so you could say it was like a promise-asking.

Before I arrived for that weekend he’d had a dream in which the two of us were at a very large city hotel, dressed up for a fancy party.  All during the night as we walked down halls and went up stairs and came out of elevators there were people chasing us.  They also tried to block us from going down stairs or from entering a hallway.  It was like a maze, and we had to work together to figure out which halls to choose.  This went on for a long time.  Finally we found a grand staircase that we needed to walk down to get out of a lavish front lobby door.  Right when we were within arms reach of the door, a man popped out in front of us with his arm outstretched as if he was about to block our way.

But instead he smiled really big and stepped back and opened the lobby doors for us.  The partygoers that had been in the hotel trying to block us previously all stopped and gathered and smile.  Through the glass windows in the lobby you could see a large, white limo waiting for us with a chauffeur.  There was a lady in the limo who greeted us nicely and asked us to get in so we did and the limo drove off.  Hubs has said he was very, very happy and his dream meant that he had his answer--that asking me and marrying me was the right thing to do.

·                 *         *         *        *       *       *

I’m really tickled that he brought it up the other night and I have enjoyed asking him over the past couple days to give me the deets (he hardly remembers things from last week so this is always intriguing to me).  And it’s all quite getting us in the mood for a little celebration of 25 years’ wed in a few months.

And He Did It With No Butt-Crack

There were some things too distracting this past weekend that I never posted about the Full Wolf Moon, although there was some howling going on here.

Our basement is a finished "in-law suite" and that is where I have my office for work.  And where the kids have a computer and where they play PS3 and have sleepovers.  And where people stay over if we have guests and where Hubs and I slept and showered for a month while our master bath was being redone.  I am just so glad that we had no guests for Thanksgiving or Christmas. 

And there is a full kitchen.  It doesn't get used except one year when we did have Thanksgiving at our house.  Although its cupboards are full with items that don't fit in the "regular" kitchen so very often I yell down the stairs, "Bring up the crockpot please!"

During Christmas there was a lot of "Bring up the large roasting pan!" and opening of the cupboards.  And it seemed a little dank and mildewy.  On December 30th Hubs pulled away the refrigerator (which we don't use) which is against the front wall of the house (underground) and realized that the wall was wet.  And a third of the cupboards (cheap stuff) were wet.

Just picture that scene from "A Christmas Story" where the dad mutters all sorts of obsenities.  So New Year's Eve Eve was tense with sounds of, "#$!@#$#!! Money Pit !@%$!@#$>?!!@#"  Soon he put up plastic up barricading the kitchen and a respirator on his face and thank goodness for the little truck to haul away the walls and cabinets and debris. That was New Year's weekend.

Contractors were called in for advice and estimates and it was presumed that rainy weather over time was too much for the foundation and water had gotten in over the wall.  There were plans made for re-arranging of downspouts and additional sealing of the foundation wall.  It has been very educating, actually, seeing the ceiling removed and learning what pipe brings the water into the house and what large white pipe brings everything (and I mean everything.....foreshadowing) out of the house.

Everyone went back to work in early January and this past Saturday, before it began to rain, we were staring at the wall in the basement and a little water drop emerged from the wall and dripped onto the floor.  Hmmm, water goes down and not up and right above that drop is the large white pipe--a depository for every pipe in the house.  And we had been doing laundry and flushing toilets.  There had to be a crack in that pipe which is the "sewer pipe". 

Hubs went outside to the front of the house with a shovel.  Well, he did not have to dig very deep--who knew how shallow the sewer pipe was.  And finding a crack in it was no mystery.  The entire 4-inch pipe WAS BROKEN IN HALF.  And this is RIGHT in front of our house.  Just several feet from where I had planted peppers, which were very Prolific.......

He dug all around the pipe and basically we now had an open cesspool in front of our house.  Oldest asked if he could go use the bathroom and brush his teeth.  I described the situation to him in further detail.  Next thing you know he had several friends at their homes yelling out to their parents that Oldest was in dire straights and needed a place to shower and use the bathroom immediately!  So he grabbed his bike and was gone.

We had a plumber coming over on Monday to replace a part of the pipe that brings water into the house.  We called him from the crappy scene.  He was busy.  I thought we would be going to a hotel but Hubs had other plans.  He declared that this was not brain surgery, hopped in the truck, went to Home Depot and came back with clean, white 4-inch pipes of all shapes and sizes.  And proceeded to use power tools, hand tools and elbow grease and fixed it. 

He then called into the house for Youngest to flush the toilet, who did so after yelling, "3-2-1, Fire In The Hole!" (cracked me up)

All is well again for now for just $70.  Except that the foundation still needs to dry out and apply sticky sealer all over it and rebuild the studs and walls and ceiling and cabinets in the in-law suite kitchen.  The plumber came on Monday to fix a 5-inch piece of pipe that was "galvanized" and needed to be copper.  Took no time at all and was $200. I truly think he was bummed that Hubs fixed the sewer pipe situation. 

Had to get all this off my chest to be able to concentrate and enjoy the new master bath.

Back to School After Seventeen Days Off

We took down our outdoor Christmas lights on Saturday knowing that the arctic cool, windy weather was moving in.  This morning for back to school it was a chilly 24 degrees.  Sunday meant I had to shop for the school lunch items that we really didn't need these past 17 days.

My middle son has lots of time in the morning (which is just his style) and he makes his own lunch.  He told me he started a trend this fall with everyone eyeballing his lunches and now everyone he eats with brings a plastic bag like he does to toss.  I don't feel too bad about the using of plastic store bags because he makes his own lunch.  There is no way anyone in our house over the age of elementary school will transport anything other than a plastic bag.

Look what he put in his lunch:

Perfect for pretzel dipping.

There was lots of sleeping in during winter break--and the oldest of course takes the cake.  He says his world record is close to 2:00 p.m. but that didn't happen here as far as I can remember.  I get pretty jittery when it gets to be after 11:00.  I know some other moms that are more chill on this knowing how early they have to get up for school right when their REM sleep is happening.  But for 17 days I heard about three chapters that had to be read and when I suggest spacing it out and reading a few pages a day I am looked at like I have two heads and 22 snakes growing out of them.  So yesterday Hubs was out (teachers had to return to work on 1/2/12) and I turned up the TV loud at about 10:30 (out of kindness!), knowing the next day's alarm would get him up at 5:50 a.m.  He got up at 11:00 and then an hour later I couldn't find him and then found him sleeping in the guest room.  I promise you the three chapters did not get read.

Today he was out the door at 6:25 a.m., as usual, for the 6:30 a.m. high school bus.  He gets home at 2:45 and then watches sports highlights and eats and then at about 4:00 he went into his room.  At about 6:00 p.m. I found this:

I had my middle son take this photo.  He is the family videographer, as about 15 minutes earlier I asked him to film Dad, who was snoring on the couch.  He always denies it so now it is documented.  Middle son is savoring this last year that he gets to have lots of time in the morning and leave the house at 8:40 for his bus.

Happy New Year to everyone.