Conversation with my High School Senior

It's Back-to-School here and I rise now again at 6:30 a.m. to see the 12th grader and the 10th grader off before they leave the house for school.  Hubs leaves ten minutes later.  Peaceful coffee time.....

Then I get this text from Oldest Son:

Red, White and Blue Nails

I don't really have red, white and blue nails in honor of the 4th of July, but who knows--by tonight I might.

Years ago, before kids, I used to paint my nails red or pink or tangerine.  Or French tips.  Last year, having purged many bottles of nail polish, I just had a few colors I would have on my toes (I do always have color on my toes) but for fingernails I only used clear or maybe the occasional pale shell pink.

But lately I have been taking an interest in my fingernails.  Maybe it is because it is a part of my body that still looks good?  Anyway, Hubs uses You Tube videos to learn how to fix something around the house and one day I looked for videos to show how to do a multi-color technique I saw in some Cover-Girl ad in a magazine.  I found several videos that showed how you first paint your nails a pale shade close to white, and then you get a make-up sponge --the kind shaped like a triangle--and you paint your choice of two or three nail polish stripes onto the sponge and then dab on your nail.  A layer of clear afterwards improves the look.  I later became the cool aunt on a FL trip, demonstrating this technique.  Here is one look:

So I have been buying nail polish in funky colors now (for when I am not visiting a client) and I now have blue and green.  Here is what I did with the blue.  Also, You Tube video girl had "squared off" nails so now I do that too instead of more rounded:

So maybe this is my new hobby now.  Painting my face isn't the same anymore.  I am ashamed that I was doing the walk/jog/run routine in March and that tapered off and I love long skirts that fold down at the waist now......   I took some selfies at the beach and found out that for all future photos I must raise my head as in the shot below.  Either that or I am going to strategically place my hand/fingernails in front of my neck.

May Day (Mayday)

Stepping back into my blog, I took a look at at site I like called Earth Sky to see exactly how many full moons I have missed talking about on my blog.  It has been two full moons since I last blogged but what caught my eye on the site was an entry about how today is May Day.

I read this article about why we celebrate May Day  and I was transported back to 7th grade when I attended an all-girls school.  This school had decades of traditions and one was a May Day celebration which included girls in spring dresses dancing around a May pole, creating a beautiful pattern on it with ribbons they held. 

So, May Day is halfway between the spring equinox and summer solstice, and I never knew it was an ancient astronomical celebration.

I have been busy, stressed, worn-out (but no travels--it's other stuff), hot-flashed and plagued with high-anxiety but not without reasons.  Master shower leaking Fiasco!  A college visit with Eldest!  Taxes!  Clients Whining! Gravity Attacking and Weight-Gaining Going on!  Messy Boys!  Underwater House Refinanced!  Two Teen Drivers!

But now it is May 1st and am past a few hurdles and ready to show a little attention to myself.    Good things used to happen in May.

Happy May Day!

Birds and Bees Talk -- 11th Grade Style

Last weekend I was sitting at the table alone eating some lunch and our 11th grade son was close by in the kitchen putting together a sandwich and out of the blue he tells me about a 12th grade boy he hangs with now.  They are on the same sports team and sometimes gives him rides to get some food or back to my son's car after they have practice.

Son to me: "So Clay and I stopped by this fast food place to eat and he saw a server there who he used to know.  A couple years ago she was mad at him for not going out with her and for revenge she told her parents that he raped her.  She even had bruises on her arms she must have done herself and Clay had to get a lawyer that his dad knew.  He didn't do any of that."

Me, in my head: (WHAT ON EARTH??!!)

As parents you can relay and advise your kids on situations but I am seeing that this cerebral son of mine learns best and thinks about things that happen in conversations with other people and maybe not so much his parents.

So about this Clay person who is in 12th grade and who we have never even seen because they play a sport that is not a spectator sport......in all honesty this is a very fishy story to me.  Without knowing either of these two people, I side with the girl and my teen son believes his friend.

What young girl is going to tell her parent(s) that a named boy raped her and go through court unless it happened?  And what boy feels the need to tell my son everything he told him just because he happened to see this girl working there?  I asked my son, "If you didn't know this girl at all (he didn't--she goes to other school and may even be out of school now) why would Clay sit there and tell you everything about something that happened a while ago with this situation?"

This led to a discussion about what is date rape so we discussed that--how years ago no one would believe that someone who is dating or even married to someone could be raped.  That is when my son clarified they weren't even dating.  The whole story sort of baffled me.  But it did lead to a Very Good discussion between us.  And also has left me biased that this boy is not innocent.  An opinion formed on someone I never met, and I am sure I will meet him one day soon.  And thoughts of his parents....and us as parents.  With three children I have learned to never assume certain things I have heard about of other kids could never happen to my kid.

I do appreciate that this item was such on his mind--trying to process all of it--that he shared it with me out of the blue.  And then he continued with a different story.  He told me that when he was working at that restaurant (the one that hated to pay its busboys) there was a dishwasher who was in his early 20's and he told my son that when he was 18 his girlfriend was 17.  The girlfriend's parents got mad and pressed charges that he was 18 and having sex with their 17 yr old daughter.  So now this guy has a record as a sex offender.  My son said, "And it was consensual."

!!!!  Again my son hears about an incident that we could have told him about but he didn't "process it" until he heard it from a peer right in front of him.  So that led to another good conversation about how this is true about the age thing and right or wrong, that could happen, which is why when you make a choice to do something, you have to ask yourself--what is the worst thing that can happen.

Of course as soon as I could I relayed everything to Hubs, probably when he was in the shower, where so many of our conversations take place.  He was dubious of Clay's story too and a little while later I heard him asking our son questions of his own.

It would be so hard to not have Hubs to share in raising these boys.  There is always something going on.  There is always a lot to talk about.

 (sometimes I think about what different stories I would have if I blogged back when they were this little).

On Track

Today Hubs and I got out the door at 7:30 am to take our 9th grader to high school where he'd get the bus with the track team for a meet.  His run time wasn't until 12:30 so I was so glad it wasn't me who had to sit outside for hours till then.

We went to the high school meet later and it was so cold out--must be in the 20's with the chill factor.  And there were these high schoolers running in shorts and tank tops.  Our son ran cross country in the fall and we went to all of his races but the courses wind in woods oftentimes and we only see his body in motion briefly.

But with track you see the students run around a track and we sat ourselves on the freezing stadium benches waiting for his race to start (a mile which is four ties around the track).

I hardly recognized him as he has grown four or so inches this year.  He looked so beautiful I had some tears behind my glasses.

 

So, this is what he does after school every day, prior to when he calls Hubs or me asking for a ride home, getting stronger and faster.  That phone call where I am all grumbly thinking why aren't there other kids near us who do track so we can carpool.

And then I had the same reaction the first time I saw his older brother do cross country.  I felt like I had to get home as fast as I could and cook a lot of food.  I saw his body in motion and thought--no wonder these boys eat us out of house and home.  He is almost 6 feet tall--what did I think it took to have them grow so well.  And then I couldn't get home fast enough to make some homemade chicken soup.

Making food in our kitchen for the boys is a large way of showing my love for them.  My heart was bursting with pride for him and for wanting to cook for him/them.

My changing hormones and their changing hormones sometimes clash around here.  Every day when he gets home at 5:30 he and all of them are ripping through the cupboard like madmen for food.  Most days I have dinner or muffins or something ready--I'm up at 6:30 am and have dinner and items prepped before I start work at 9:00am.  One day last week I didn't and there was our runner, all sweaty and hungry and I was about to do my new commitment to walking/jogging in our 'hood and as I am apt to do lately I snapped, "This is why I am fat -- I am always in the kitchen if I am not working!!!"  

And you know, that is sort of true....but today I am calmer and it is about them.  I have had my days of looking good and many years without kids.  I do need to point them to what they can eat while I do go outside for 30 mins to take care of me a little bit.

It's been 8 hours now and he is still at the track meet.  Brrrrr.  There is a big pot of chicken noodle soup and salad and bread (Hubs will complain there are no matzoh balls in it, which I make sometimes).  After today I have more respect for how hard our son works at school and after school with track and how hungry he is when he gets home.

Phone Tales

One day last week I was working at my desk as usual with my phone nearby and my middle son who's in 9th grade calls, which is unusual since he only calls or texts at the end of the day when he needs a ride home from sports.

He say, "Mom, I'm calling to let you know that someone had their phone stolen at school and my backpack got searched and of course there was nothing in it, so I will see you later, OK?"

Me: "OK, bye".  Thinking: Well, I will pump him for all those details later.

So the minute he got home I got the scoop.  He was in math class and there were about 20 minutes left and the students sit in single desks all facing the front.  a couple rows behind him and toward the left a girl announces that her phone is missing.  She had put her iphone on her desk during a quiz .......and suddenly realized it was gone.  The teacher then said he needed to call Administration and when the assistant principal got there (he is known to the students as "Sherlock Holmes" as he is the one involved in these kinds of investigational/law breaking issue) he asked for everyone around Stolen Phone Girl's radius to stay and everyone else to go on to their next class which was starting soon.

Then of the remaining students, three at a time they had to go into the AP's office and have their backpack searched.  One girl student who was to the Stolen Phone Girl's left and behind, was very vocal in denial and she was known to have frequent in-school suspensions for stealing these, etc.

My son was the last to be called in for a search and in the meantime he missed Spanish class and was starving and had to use the restroom he said more terribly than known to humankind.  Afterwards is when he was told to call his parent and state what he said when he called me.  He never heard the results of the Stolen Phone, but these were my/Hubs' thoughts:

--Did anyone call the phone to find it (yes, but it was on silent)
--Why was her phone OUT of her backpack to begin with (our son said this same question to himself and the girl was asked and she said she had no pockets but not sure why it wasn't kept in backpack.  If you knew that Reputation of Thief Girl was sitting nearby, why have it out??)
--Was there a test or something going on in Spanish class that you missed (No).
--Is someone at school allowed to search your backpack? (Hubs asked this.  Apparently they are).

BTW, in the fall this son had just gotten his new cross country sweatshirt and set it down for 5 mins and it was ripped off.  I asked him the other night if a teacher was able to make everyone freeze and find it but it was afterschool.  Also this same son left his (non-running) shows in the building one day when he was waiting for us to pick him up and they were never to be seen again and being the toughie I am, I am not replacing them.

Onto the next phone tale....

Hubs and I have had the iPhone 3 for almost two years.  We are behind the times.  I don't care about phones too much as I am on the phone and computer all day for work and frankly don't have the time to think about my phone much.  But Hubs had a fit the other day when Pandora acted up so we went to the AT&T store and walked out with the iPhone 4 for $ .99 each and an appt at the Apple store for two nights later.

Friday night we had a technology date at the Apple store in the mall.  I felt old and awkward that we brought in new iPhone 4's but our young tech rep got us all fixed up with some info and transferred my phone photos onto our laptop that we brought in.  He showed me some photo tips and in the process he took a picture of me (with my permission) and showed me how it was then sent to the laptop.  

I am still in shock over the photo.

What The Hell Happened to me?

Why is it that occasionally I can put on make-up, fix my hair, wear jeans into some great boots I found, think I look not bad at all for 50...and then see a photo?  I did get some good genes that did their thing previously but these same genes are the culprit of a neck that is horrid and a face that has fallen.  Sure I have some good things left for my age.  People exclaim positively over my fingernails.  I have long legs, particularly the thighs.

My sedentary and stressful months have maybe added to the downfall and although I have heard that a few extra pounds my be good for the face maybe that isn't true for me.  

You know I cook all the time for these 4 guys, right?  And that includes desserts--these guys have no body fat.  But I have stopped eating dessert cold turkey.  I am saying that I won't have dessert stuff for 30 days.  I also went out and bought new running shoes and spent 30 mins doing the walk/run/walk/run all around the n'hood using the timer on my New iPhone 4.

I guess it took that photo on my phone to motivate me.

Now I'm Keeping Track of Three Wallets

As the only person in this household who keeps and carries a purse (a bag if you live in a different region) my wallet is always in its place when I need it.  Not the same for two of the other people I live with and soon another son will be added to the category of those of whose wallets i must keep track.

Almost 20 years ago Hubs and I went on a vacation with another couple.  It was a wonderful week for us (although the wife of the other couple left the husband 8 months later) and we had so many laughs that Hubs and I still sometimes revisit those memories.  Anyway, at least several times a day for 7 days, my husband asked me, "Michele, do you have my wallet?", so much that after a few days just to be funny, our friend, Tom, would ask me as well, "Michele....do you have my wallet?"

Many a morning is spent tracking down his wallet in our 25 years of marriage.  When we do errands together he almost always drives and when we get out of the car to go in the store, his wallet and phone go into my purse.  Sometimes when he goes to work the next day his wallet is still in my purse.

Ever since last July our oldest at age 16 has to keep track of his wallet/engage the whole house sometimes to find it.  Everything is misplaced including the keys to our little truck that he drives to school.  Last night we had an incident that I realize is going to be a frequent occurrence over the next several years.  It was about 6:30 and I expected him home at 6:00 after going from school to a golf club near school where the soon-to-be team gets to practice.  I texted him to check in on his whereabouts.  He texts back, "I lost my wallet at the golf course."  He called to add that he left the golf course and went to a gas station but didn't have his wallet so he was retracing his steps and a couple people were helping.

I then mentally check off that he has a debit card that will need canceling and a driver's license that will need to be reissued and that he and Middle Son will have to take the dreaded school bus till that's done.  I scout out Hubs and tell him.  He doesn't get all whacked out like I do.

A little while later Oldest son calls to say a friend of his who was helping him look found it in the road near the entrance/exit of the golf course.  Oldest Son had done the "classic" move of placing it on top of the vehicle and leaving it there and as the little truck pulled turned out of the drive and onto the street, it was flung off and left in the street.  At this time the rest of us were at the table eating dinner and Hubs says, "Oh yeah, I have done that before." and then tells two stories of doing this same move.

Something tells me that last night won't be the last time I get a phone call about losing a wallet and that call could be from anyone with whom I live.

P.S.  This past Saturday I was at the Drivers License place with our Middle Son who turned 15 last week, to take his Learner's Permit test.  He passed and then later Hubs took him out for his first experience driving and maneuvering in the parking lot and then driving home.  So now there is another wallet to be minded in our house.

P.P.S.  Have I mentioned that insuring three vehicles was $150 per month until last July when we added one teenage boy and it doubled to $300 per month.  One year till we have another teenage driver to be added.