The Second Teenager

Handling "party" to-do's for a son who becomes a teenager is a much easier task than when planning a little kid's birthday.  For him, as long as he would receive his coveted gift (a camcorder), the rest was just icing on the cake.  And all I had to do for the cake (it was consumed just by our family) is bake it in a 9 x13 pan and get out my package of candles and pick out the formerly used "1" and "3" and add some regular candles and a trick candle that doesn't completely go out and the cake decorating was done.

And instead of having friends over, he wanted to take a group of guys to the indoor skatepark for a session (or "sesh) and some camcorder filming.  Which Hubs did while I stayed home and frosted that cake and watched TV.

As previously mentioned, Middle Son was called The Mayor at our house because he waved at everyone on our street.  Having friends was always important to him.  Before he went to school he had imaginary friends who were brothers and we'd ask him straight-faced questions about them and he had stories to tell us.  When Kindergarten came along he was friendly to everyone in his classroom--more than I ever knew.  In Kindergarten during an awards ceremony (you know, best attendance, etc.) he won Mr. Citizenship in his class.  I had no idea and was so proud.

In 2nd grade we had moved to a new school and he had a teacher who liked to put on performances just in the classroom to enrich learning.  During a regular parent-teacher conference she told us about a presentation the class had just done.  As they began to plan and practice this presentation, our son met privately with the teacher because he was very concerned about one student who was mute (for some reason she did not speak at school)--how was she going to be part of this presentation just like everyone else?  The teacher asked him what he thought they should do and he said that for her part she should hold up a series of posters with her words on them so that she could participate.

Our Middle Son is one who likes little kids--and wants to be a babysitter to earn extra money (Hubs has helped put the word out to to her teachers but no takers yet).  There is a first grade boy down the street who adores our Middle Son.  Last year when he was in Kindergarten this little boy became very sick and had to stay in the hospital for a week.  We planned to visit him and asked our Middle Son to go with us.  Without hesitation he said he would.  When we arrived at the hospital I was pretty much a mess.  I had to look at the walls and pretend to be very interested in the architecture through tear-filled eyes.  This was before we even arrived on our neighbor's hospital floor.  But our son just sailed on through, went right up to the little boy once we arrived to his room and gave him a new toy and showed him how to work it.

I often feel like our Middle Son doesn't get as much attention as the Oldest gets for being the first to experience new things (and gets reprimanded the most), not does he get the attention the youngest gets (nightly bedtime reading and more from me).  Maybe because he is in the middle it makes for good problem solving.  Anyway, it helps a lot to think of positives such as easy party-planning, and what makes him so special, and not think of how he has grown an inch in a month.

One Last Night To Be Twelve. Oh My Heart

I've sat at the keyboard for about 30 minutes.  There is so much I'd like to say about my second born son who turns 13 tomorrow.

I used to watch my boys play in the driveway--that and the side yard as far as I could see is as far as they would go.  My second son would stop and wave at every neighbor who walked or drove by so we referred to him as the Mayor.

Tonight I took him to get a haircut and the stylist asked him how old he was.  He said he was turning 13 tomorrow.  She said, "You're 12!!?  You have a mustache!"

More tomorrow!  Tomorrow there will be two teenagers in the house.

A Coordinated Change-Up in the Marriage Bed

 Last year I wrote about how for 20+ years I have been sleeping on the right side of the bed and Hubs has been on the left.  And how I sleep on my left side and how it's resulted in the left side of my face getting smooshed every night.  I had told Hubs that maybe we should switch and I think we even tried it for a night and it was fine but we just went back to our usual sides after that.

Oh, and here is what I mean about how the left side of my mashed in face has led to more wrinkles on that side.  The left eye now has lines even under it!:

 We have had our king-sized bed for three years.  We picked it out together and I have had no complaints (other than how beds cost more than a used car) but starting about a year ago Hubs started complaining about his lower back and how he thinks it is the bed’s fault.  And when I ask him why he insists in sleeping exactly in the middle of it when he has lots of room on his side, he says it’s because his side feels saggy.  I totally ignored those comments because, remember, the bed cost way too much money to be complaining about it after a couple of years and how could his side  be sagging when he is average sized and not overweight, and my side is not sagging?

So I didn’t pay much attention to those claims.  However, his visits to the chiropractor have increased and the new one he has been seeing since October has told him that something is going on.  Some habit or something in his routine keeps repeating itself for her to be treating the same issue every week.

So he tells me again that we need a new bed.  We then remembered that we were told when we bought the bed that it is guaranteed for 10 years to not sag in more than one inch anywhere.  We took off all the sheets and checked it out.  Please note we take off all the sheets on a regular basis for washing, but apparently we have never given the mattress such scrutiny or the “yardstick test”.

The manufacturer's website includes warranty info -- that if it sags more than an inch deep then it can be replaced.  It provides instructions to lay a yardstick across the bed and then use a ruler to measure the depth like this:

And you have to also take a photo of the tag that is attached to the bed (see, there is a reason for those tags!).  So we will see what happens about getting a new mattress.

In the meantime, we have changed our sides of the bed after all these years and even the end tables on each side of the bed have been switched.  I am now sleeping on the left side of the bed (and close to the edge so that I am not in the sag area) and am sleeping on my right side, now smooshing in the right side of my face. 

The change-up in sides of the bed seems to be a win-win.  Hubs is happy.  The left side of my face is getting a break.  And hopefully we will get a new mattress soon – before I will have to start seeing the chiropractor.

Not Hot For Teacher

Not too long ago I wrote about my 4^th grader’s required reading log for school that is due each Monday.  He has to read at least 100 minutes per week and list the name of the book(s) and the minutes read, and then I initial each entry. Well, just having to keep a log annoys me because with him and two older kids, I have seen too many road blocks put in place by some educators that get in the way of reading for enjoyment.   

He may have a teacher next year that does not require a reading log, and my 7^th and 9^th grade sons don’t do this any longer, so this particular battle’s days are numbered….but I’m I won't take this sitting down.  Once again my son is being punished over a reading log not being signed by me, and I really hate that it is even associated with reading.  And Youngest went above and beyond to make sure I signed what he had read.....

Two Sundays ago it began to snow and ice and school was canceled last week.  Well, that Sunday right before the snow started, my son was getting his papers together for me to sign, getting ready as usual for school the next day.  And he really is the Parental Signature Police—he asks me over and over to sign his agenda (yeah, that has to get signed each night too), sign a permission slip, and so on.  He told me that he left his folder at school that has his reading log sheet and asked if I could write a note instead.  So I got a sheet of paper and wrote,  “My child did not bring home his reading log sheet, so I am writing this note.  Last week he read (and I listed a book and a magazine) and his reading time totaled over 100 minutes.  We will add this info to his log sheet."

Today at work I had this vision of him sitting in from recess as I could not remember if that note was for the snow week or the prior week (and with the kids attending school for 4 days out of the last 31 days things are even hazy for me--the mom with a memory like a steel trap).  While in the kitchen getting dinner ready  I asked him if he gave his teacher the note about how he read….and he tells me that he and a few others had to sit out at recess.  But then he clarified that they didn’t sit out—they went outside but did not get to play with friends—they had to walk in a friggin circle path (he didn’t say friggin).  He said to the teacher, “But I gave you a note from my mom.”  I am unclear as to her response.

So I am all “Are you kidding ME??!!!???” and Hubs in the living room asks what is going on and I relay and he says “I guess you’ll have to email her.”  (he works down the hall from the teacher). (and he is way over the reading log crap and he doesn't require it for his students).

Which, I have no problem doing.  I am a little unclear as to whether the issue is that my son needed the note to list two weeks of log details (my note listed the week prior to the snow).  Bottom line is that the reading log does not help one little bit at all and actually this teacher is not his one and only teacher.  He goes to another teacher for math and language arts—and wouldn’t reading fall under language arts and not science which she teaches?

Last year when he was in the media center he had a teacher point out which books he should select because they were labeled as Accelerated Reader (of which I am vehemently opposed because he can read whatever books he wants to and I still feel the same even though in middle school 5% of the language arts grade depends on reading AR books).  And now twice this year he (and other kids) have recess withheld if a parent didn’t sign off on a reading log on a Monday.   It is not about the recess.  This Reading Log is not an incentive.   This is chipping away at a love of reading.  Mama Lion is mad.

(Or maybe I should say that Mama Wolf is mad.  It is the Full Wolf Moon tonight.  Very overcast here but should clear up tonight to see it!).

The Week That Was Frozen in Time

The title is taken from a separate section of the paper yesterday--all about the week no one could barely drive anywhere.  Tomorrow is going to be a tough day for all five of us getting back to reality...again.  The kids have gone to school FOUR DAYS out of the last 31 DAYS.  After December 17^th the schools had Winter Break for two weeks.  And after the New Year they went back for a scheduled 4-day school week.  And then on January 9^th it snowed and stayed cold and never melted (actually whatever melted would freeze again turning the streets to 5 inches of ice) and school ended up getting canceled every day. I really feel for the people that are not paid for not being able to work this week.

Here was day 4 of our week of snow (this is the most photographed deck ever):

Here was day 5 (mail delivery resumed on day 5):

 

And here was day 7 after the snow fell.  Hard to believe but snow is still in many yards and here is Youngest sledding down a neighbor’s hill yesterday:

And so with today being MLK, Jr. Day school is closed….and it is the 17^th again.  Hubs joked last week that he’d be homeschooling the kids that week.  We did declare one day as no TV, Ipod or gaming day and had everyone read.  Oldest moaned and groaned about having to read and Hubs had him take a test online on his book and said if he got 100% he could stop reading.  He got a 70% so he had to keep reading.

Onto other tasks, I got organized.  I don’t do any New Year’s resolutions, but I did delve into some cleaning projects.  On the Sunday that it snowed, that day I went to Goodwill, which was a great time to go.  It was packed—I guess others know to score stuff right after everyone has dropped off items for their 2010 tax return purposes.  I had my eye out for some cannisters and plastic bins to help with some projects in the kitchen.

With all the cooking I do it is hard to believe I wasn’t more organized with my “baking cupboard”.  So it isn’t all color coordinated, but I am now thrilled that I have little bins to hold my spices together.  I just pull one out and have my baking soda, cocoa and baking powder all together.   The shelves were wiped out and Hubs put down contact paper because I can’t handle it—it is a funky corner cupboard and he is better at the spatial stuff.

I also uncluttered the kitchen counter by removing a decorative canister used for teabags (I hardly drink tea these days) and replacing it with mini-marshmallows—which are in high demand around here with hot chocolate.  I picked up these canisters from Goodwill that were from Pier One to hold coffee and sugar:

I don’t use sugar in my coffee, but Hubs has started eating cut grapefruit and wanted to know where the sugar was.  Anyway—I can’t tell you how happy these little changes have made me (I’m easy to please).

Being home for so long had Hubs think about DIY tasks.  Our powder room once had a leak in a pipe above the ceiling and he had cut a hole out of the ceiling and fixed it and repaired the ceiling but never finished painting it so that got done.  Then he looked at the fixtures in the powder room and decided that the faucets needed updating, along with a new towel rack and TP holder.

He had the boys help him shovel out "tracks" in our street which goes uphill--seriously, no one could get up the hill without that done on a certain day before it iced over.  He asked some older neighbors what they needed before he went to the store.  Seems the older folks gotta have their newspaper.

I’ve blogged before about what a Big Deal it has been to have some time off—I can’t promise I won’t mention it again—I definitely have more to report. 

Tonight the kids will be bummed and tomorrow will be tough for them to get up so early.  Think I’ll make breakfast for dinner.  Sunday I usually make a big breakfast/brunch, but didn’t yesterday because Hubs and I went to an early movie!  See!  Still much to report.

Christmas Day Snow May Have Broken Records but So Did This

We’re ten days into the new year, but I still feel like I have just arrived back from a relaxing, fun, long vacation, minus any dirty laundry and luggage.  Having ten days off at the end of the year was such a Big Deal for me—it was rare—it was wonderful—and I have refused to even put one word into a new agenda calendar for 2011.  It was like being on a small island vacation, like we used to with our family and also pre-kids, to a place where no cars exist, a place where you are so relaxed on the 7^th day that you contemplate selling everything and never leaving.

 OK, I am exaggerating, it wasn’t as relaxing as that, but I have to say it has been painful putting on shoes, a bra and clothes after days of living in flannels and lounge pants.

 (instead of the boys mashing the gingerbread house to bits, this year Hubs got involved and put bottle rockets and firecrackers inside of it, but first the Tonka truck was involved).

But I have had to slowly but surely get ready for a business trip….although last night’s nature event may sideline those plans:

 (January 10th)

Christmas Day may have broken records for actually snowing on 12/25 for the first time in over 100 years, but I have never seen so much snow accumulate in one hour as it did last night, and it didn't stop for hours (but sleet continued all night).  I had peeked out the front door with Youngest at 9:00 and there was nothing happening yet, so we read together but then the snow started 30 minutes later.  Next thing you knew we let the kids go outside at 10:00 p.m. because it was so pretty and so powdery and we heard that it may turn to ice the next day.  Needless to say, school was cancelled.

 Today we have all been outside playing in it—the kids went out before 10:00 a.m. and Hubs and I walked alone about 30 mins later to another  ‘hood and watched people sledding.  No one is driving anywhere or those that try mostly spin their car wheels and get stuck.  

 On December 20^th I had to fly halfway across the country to meet with a potential client and they liked us and now it is my client and I am supposed to be there on Wednesday.  Who knows if that will happen—it is so cold that the roads will look the same tomorrow if not worse. 

Here is a photo below of the angel on top of our tree.  She doesn’t match the style any more—before kids I decorated the tree all Victorian.  But a couple years ago I realized our angel reminds me of an air traffic controller angel—see her lights in each raised arm:

She is an angel over flights and now besides all my usual flight anxiety, now I have to worry about icy runways, icy wings, icy landing gear, an equally snowy destination, in the windiest part of the country, and at an airport that only has the body scanners as the only choice.  I might get the angel out of the attic tomorrow, but tonight I will cook some yummy food in the kitchen as usual (the Hubs and boys are constantly after me making dessert stuff so I don’t even bother with any body-weight resolutions as I have no will power) and enjoy the icy beauty at home.

Easiest Time Ever Taking Down the Christmas Decor

January 1^st was the agreed upon day for taking down the holiday decorations.  The date varies year by year.  Hubs would have been happy to get everything put away sooner, but I told him that I wanted to still look at the tree on New Year’s Eve.  One month ago I bemoaned the addition of large, colored lights on the tree.  Lately, many a night was spent in enjoyment gazing at the pretty blue ones especially.

We all slept in, per the usual routine this past week, and especially since some of us went to bed at 2:00 a.m.  Guess what?  One night last week I went to bed at 3:00 a.m.

I learned something eye-opening on the first day of this year, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it.  Many times this past year I've noticed how much the boys are growing taller…voices changing…feet getting bigger than mine….math homework I can't understand, and so on.

All these growth changes were expressed in terms of a loss--a loss of little boys and how things used to be.  What I learned on January 1^st is a gain, a positive spin on these children getting bigger and bigger and I thought about it all day.

Since January 1st was on a Saturday, we knew we wanted to get all the chores done that day so we'd have Sunday with no house cleaning--we'd spend the last day of vacay doing whatever we wanted, like the last day of vacay should be spent.  So, the boys knew that once we were all up, the chores would begin.  Being bigger means they truly helped Hubs and I take down and put away every light bulb, wreath, ornament and garland in record time. 

Middle son helped Hubs wind up outdoor lights and put them in the plastic bin, while Youngest and Oldest completely unadorned and dismantled our “back porch” tree while I started on the living room tree.  Then Middle son joined me and helped wrap up every ornament in tissue paper and put it back in the bin.  Next, Oldest helped unscrew the bolts from the tree stand, and Hubs lifted out the tree and took it outside to the truck for its trip back to Home Depot (and Hubs is Vacuum Man so no sooner had that fir left the house then the needles were sucked away).  Christmas was put away, inside and out, in less than and hour and a half.

And the part that hard me mulling all day about these growing boys?  They carried all 10 or so boxes and bins of Christmas stuff to the upstairs hallway and lined them up by the ladder going into the attic.  Hubs went into the attic and the two older boys lifted every box over their heads, from the attic stairs, and up to Hubs in the attic above.  They have muscles now.  Afterward I was amazed how they made that chore look so easy.

And then I stayed in my pajamas all day until dinner time, when I took a shower and then changed into my vacation uniform again, which was one of many fleece pajama bottoms, soft t-shirt, fuzzy socks and no bra. Wonderful day.  Wonderful 10 days.