Mama's Getting a New Closet

We have lived in our house for over 5 years and when we first viewed the house and stepped into the master bath it was almost a deal breaker.  That and the kitchen and the deck.  We had the deck turned into a screened porch but have lived with the crappy bathroom and kitchen ever since.

As previously mentioned, Hubs made a list of things to redo in the house when I got a job.  Well as soon as I got my job offer six weeks ago, the master closet and bathroom DIY project began.

Over the past few years I cannot tell you how many men have walked through our master bedroom and into our bath to give their opinion on how to renovate this monstrosity.  For example, a neighbor has had about 10 different contractors at his house (he's retired) over the years, and my Hubs moseys on over there and asks the contractors to take a look at our master bath.  I get about 3 minutes' notice and run in the bathroom and hide my retainers that I wear at night and keep next to my sink.  And then they always come up with a plan that is too expensive and then Hubs always tells me, "Well I can do most of the work myself except for the plumbing and the electrician."

But we did gain an idea from one of the contractors to make a new closet at the end of the bathroom where there is an old, 1980's garden tub.  People, I have not had a bath in five years.  Our master bath is very large with the craziest ceiling angles and wackiest layout ever.  Can you believe there was a lamp hanging over the bath?  There is also a skylight--anyway, the whole end of the bathroom will be a new closet for me.

(next to where I am standing is a hideous "vanity" although it was handy for my hair and jewelry and make-up stuff).

That huge mirror came down in one piece.  Hubs saw on You Tube that you cover it with packing tape and then remove it.

Of course, the boys were involved with the demolition, which they bought into at first.  But quickly they realized that it involved carrying a crap load of debris out of the house, over and over.  I once returned from a Saturday of food shopping with two of them running up to my car like a flock of turkeys, pleading, "Mom, this is the pits and out of nowhere Dad has us working and working and carry garbage that is way to heavy and we need to get started on homework!"

Fortunately we have an old truck so over a few weekends Hubs took it to a dump and pays about $30 to leave the debris there rather than paying for a dumpster at the house.

Here is Oldest sweeping all around where the bathtub used to be.  Take a look by his left foot.  That is the plumbing down in the floor for the old bathtub faucets.......

Hubs is a little obsessive with the weekend work.  One Saturday night at 9:00 I heard him in the bathroom breaking up tile (the former owner had put tile on top of former tile).  I came up to see what he was doing, annoyed that he couldn't just be watching TV like a normal person.  He chatted while he continued to jab at tile and was standing right in front of that faucet plumbing area and then he stepped back.....and his leg went right through the faucet area.


And now I know that my new closet will be right above where my car is parked in the garage.

Anyway he cursed and ranted at himself for not covering that area as he new it was a potential problem and I went into the garage to see debris all over the hood of my car.  Luckily no chunks fell on it.  His leg and hand got scraped up.  He then ranted and raved about how he hatred his drill as I stood by the step ladder so he could stand on the ladder and screw nails into a piece of plywood over the new big hole in the garage.

(see the ceiling above my car)

On a positive note he stated he was glad that at least he stepped through the ceiling over the garage and not a nice ceiling such as a hallway, which has happened a few years ago, where you actually have to make it look nice again.

The shower is getting ripped out this weekend.  To be continued...

The More Things Change...

It's another beautiful fall season here with the flowers loving the warm afternoons and cool mornings.

I have been at my new job for four weeks and it is going great.  Some mornings I practically pinch myself to make sure the job I wanted really did come along at the right time.  The items needed for working at home have not arrived yet and so I go into the office almost regularly (my choice to get to know people and fortunately it is just a 15 minute drive).  Starting a new job means no one has seen your clothes before.  I have more wrinkles than just about everyone there.....but my fingernails look fabulous.  I received a Blackberry about 10 days ago and I have not taken time to learn it yet.  I got an Iphone six months ago and I was actually trying to touch the Blackberry's screen to make it work (!)  So many programs and systems to learn for work.

On the homefront I am still my boys' personal shopper and bring home clothes from TJ Maxx for their choosing.  I learned from last year that high schoolers need Homecoming clothes in October and I made sure the pants and shirt were purchased well in advance.  The shoes slipped my mind until the day before so Hubs took him to DSW and he found a pair.  Last year's Homecoming shoes were found there as well, and worn only once.  I lamented this but quickly got over it after I realized that boys don't require many shoes or accessories.

Sidenote--on the morning of homecoming our area was having many n'hood yard sales and in one driveway a college-aged girl was selling a bunch of designer purses of hers.  I realized how easy it is to not have to buy all of those items, hair care, make-up, etc. (a fact that my high school son reminds me when he calls to ask if I can pick up deoderant or face wash for him).

Back to the items needed for Homecoming: my high school son exclaimed that he and some buddies were going to wear bowties instead of regular ties so I told him to find what he wanted online.  Well, it was not a clip-on and we ran out of time for a tying-the-bowtie practice and on Homecoming day he had a baseball game until 4:00 and he needed to be Homecoming dressed by 5:00 (easily accomplished for a boy).  But then the pressure was on to do the bowtie.

That was Hubs' job but he had to recruit Youngest son to sit in front of the computer and click Pause and Play on the You Tube bowtie-instruction video:

It got pretty intense and I stayed out of the way except for a few photos.  Then our son got picked up by a parent up the street and photos took place somewhere else and for the second year in a row I was not involved because our son told us he had his rides all figured out (no dates, yay).  That is until 12:30 a.m. when he called to say he and a neighbor needed a ride home.  Luckily Hubs is a night owl and was still up.

That same beautiful weekend morning we had Thanksgiving dinner visit us in our front yard:

The night before this, Hubs was telling his mom, who was visiting, that not only are deer crossing the road and in our yard, but that there are turkeys in the 'hood.  I had not seen any in our hood, and then I got up Saturday a.m. and they they were in the front yard.

After we watched them for a little bit and they wandered off somewhere I had to run an errand and when I backed out they came running over--not shy at all.  I had to get out of my car to see where they went as I was not finished backing up.  They were making gobbling noises when I took the photo about 2 feet from them.

(what is that weird feather thing sticking out from their chests?)

So, everything is going well.  Lots of projects going on here that I will feature soon, two boys out of three are taller than me (I am 5'6") and one still fits under my chin (I sing that to the "Under My Thumb" tune to him), and one out of three will be trick or treating a week from today.  This week's errand is to find a dark suit and hat because he wants to be an IRS man for Halloween.

Update on that Teacher Situation

After Hubs and I decided we needed to meet with this teacher and an assistant principal, I contacted one of the assistant principals (AP) to set up a meeting with an AP and this teacher, who teaches an Advanced Placement class, to talk about some classroom concerns and grading on projects so far.  One thing on which I hadn’t previously blogged is there were some summer projects and seems teacher didn’t even read the work and graded based on volume (this is when son asked about it and teacher answered with a “yup” and didn’t even look at son).

It took a few days to get the meeting date and then there was another teacher invited who is the leader of the school’s advanced placement program.  Prior to the meeting the teacher decided to send us this email and I didn’t respond:

Mr. and Mrs. Last name,
It has been communicated to me that you would very much like to have a
meeting with myself to have a discussion about your son, (name) in my
class.  I look forward to satisfying this demand.  Please let me know the
best time that is convenient for you to meet with myself.  I have time
available in the mornings or in the afternoon.

I got all riled up at this email.  He is going to satisfy this demand.

The meeting went well for us parents.  It did not go well for the teacher.  I liked the AP who was present.  He took pages and pages of notes. 

The meeting was in the teacher’s classroom, with five desks arranged in a circle.  Hubs sat to my left and the AP to his left.  The leader teacher was to my right.  Directly across from Hubs was this teacher.  When we sat down the teacher started by saying, “What can I do for you guys today?”  As you know, he is arrogant.

At first we addressed one of the summer projects.  I was prepared with a copy of the assignment posted in the summer and my son's assignment--it states to read a certain book choice out of 7 books, and list 30 quotes and then comment on each quote in page number order to show you have read all parts of the book.  A friend of my sons did not read the book, and responded with 2 sentences on each and listed 40 quotes.  he got a 100.  This killed my son because he read the book and listed 30 quotes and gave 6 thoughtful sentences on each.  When assignments were handed back just prior to this meeting, Son had asked teacher if he had listed and commented on 40 quotes would he have gotten an A and that is when teacher said “yup” to him.  So at meeting we had to discuss how son was looking for guidance but we also had to discuss does advanced placement mean a student gets graded on poundage?  Hubs stated how a teacher can know in 10 problems if a student read the material and gets it or not.  Teacher had hopped up looking around for the assignment rubric (I had a copy) and he defended that he told the kids on 1^st day of school he’d give them a few more days to add more to assignment.  The AP spent a very long time looking at son’s assignment and concluded he saw son add a few more quotes and he could tell he read book and had good sentences.  Teacher defended self on how with 3 classes and how there are almost 30 kids in classes this year that would be reading thousands of answers.  Ummmmm, yes?  It was clear that teacher stated he’d take another look at his work.  This is foreshadowing.

After this teacher says, “So we are meeting about his grades?”  We told him there was a lot more to discuss.

Next we moved on to the distractions.  Don’t think the leader teacher knew all this was coming.  Hubs brings up that teacher is kicking a soccer ball against wall during quizzes.  Teacher does not deny.  He states that he will stop if it is distracting our son.  Michele’s blood begins to boil.  AP does not interject to say that it is inappropriate for any child in any of his 3 classes, but AP is writing notes big time.

Then we bring up using the cell phone during quizzes and how there are noises that make the class giggle such as a baby crying and laughs and an animal noise.  Teacher denies using cell phone in class and states that perhaps the noise is coming from classroom next door.  Michele knows he is lying and keeps calm face while blood temp reaches 200 degrees.

Then we bring up the group presentation at which one student keeps his backpack on and the teacher mocks him and gets class laughing (and group received a failing grade even though they thought their presentation was better than two others that rec’d “C”s.  Teacher knew exactly what this was and said he gave the student a chance to take off backpack.  Hubs wanted to know that although this was unusual, maybe it was his “schtick” since there are presenters in the world who walk back and forth as they present, etc.  Teacher does not deny that this all happened and teacher said he directed the class’ attention back to the presenters (ummm, yes, due to you, teacher, is why the kids were giggling).   In addition, there was a two-page paper due along with this presentation and even though the boys had a good thesis, the teacher circled the bottom two inches of the 2^nd page to show that the 2^nd page was not complete and gave them an "F".  Again, a conversation about grading on poundage and Hubs mentions how a writer can knock a one page paper out of the park vs. two pages in many cases.    We state that son will ask to meet with teacher to LEARN how he can improve on future papers.

Then we get to the laser pointer infraction.  Hubs starts by saying that as a fellow teacher in this county, he hopes that of the following he hopes he heard wrong.  I then described that apparently during power point presentations the students take a few minutes to take notes in between each slide and during this time the teacher is pointing the laser pointer at kids’ heads and people giggle (I did not mention that according to my son he mostly chooses girls’ heads).  Teacher did not deny this.  By this time teacher is glancing at AP.  Hubs continues on for about 7 minutes on how this is against policy is the school system handbook (leader teacher is nodding), and how his students have been suspended for acts less than this, and how horrible it would be if it hit an eye and, as teacher to teacher, we do not need anything like this to get around and have a teacher story in the news.  This was serious stuff. 

Meeting was concluded with the AP stating that they will address the distraction concerns and we would have our son approach the teacher to set up a time to review work and be able to ask questions.  Everyone shook hands and then the lead teacher took us to the elevator (it needs a key) and she thanked us for the meeting as “she knew it was difficult but they really appreciated it and that they do now want students to leave the advanced placement program.”

As we drove home we had the feeling that teacher was not going to be having a good night.

I’ll write another post on the situation and an email from teacher in the two weeks since this.

The Cupcake Incident

My youngest son turned 11 last week and just like last year his birthday fell on a weekday and so I planned to bring cupcakes to school, something I've done for all three boys every year they were in elementary school.    He wanted me to make chocolate cupcakes and I was happy to do it, and as I reflected at home how it was the last time for cupcakes at school from me....instead of being sentimental......I was SO ok with that.


It's funny because on that day that I decided I was perfectly happy moving along and saying good-bye to this ritual, there was a little incident that perhaps was "the icing on the cake".

I brought the cupcakes in a box and waited for my son's class to enter the lunchroom and begin to assemble at their long, rectangular lunch table.  When all the students sat down, I started on the row opposite my son and began placing a cupcake in front of each child.  I happened to be across from my son and was about to take out a cupcake for one child and he says, "I don't like chocolate."  I said "OK, they are chocolate" and gave the child next to him a cupcake, and continued down the side of the table placing cupcakes in front of about 8 kids, then started working my way up the other side of the table.  That is when a cafeteria worker stopped me.

She said to me gesturing at the the boy who didn't want a cupcake, "He says you did not give him a cupcake."  I tell her, "He told me he does not like chocolate and I have chocolate cupcakes."  She then tells the child, "Well, she only had chocolate cupcakes."  I asked the boy, "Did you tell me that you do not eat chocolate?"  and he replied yes.  I then moved along to finish passing them out.

So that was a first--while I was passing out cupcakes this child actually drew enough attention about his lack of a cupcake to the supervisor for her to come over.  I am not taking this personally--actually it gave me a glimpse of what many parents may not be aware of--the constant need for manners and discipline in the classroom.  Last year the teachers were asked to give up their 25 minutes of lunch time to eat lunch with their students to mind them.  This year I am happy that the teachers have their bathroom and lunch break (a couple of personnel were hired to monitor the lunch room and parents have been asked to volunteer--it is a great way to see the constant disciplining that has to take place and I am not even talking about cupcake manners).  Many students said "thank you".  Later I reiterated to my son that he must always say thank you when someone gives him something--a team snack, etc.


But here is what else I have to say about it.  If teachers are to be graded  based on their students' test scores for merit pay, the teachers need to grade the parents on certain parenting criteria.

I'm So Glad I Did Not Eat a Bagel Loaded With Poppy Seeds

I had to go to a lab the other day to take a drug test which means I had to provide a urine sample in a cup.

Why did I have to do this?

Well, check out this poster I made and put on the door for the boys to see when they got home from school the other day:

WOO-HOO!!

You guys were so right in your comments in the beginning of June that I would find something better.

I am So Excited.

Thanks SO MUCH  for your support and encouragement this summer!

P.S.  The last item listed in green on the poster I made states we will get a new TV--we can already cross that item off the list and now we have a loud living room again.

Harvest Moon Tonight and Tomorrow

The 2011 Harvest Moon is technically in the five o'clock a.m. hour of September 12 but it can be see as full both tonight and tomorrow night.  The autumnal equinox is on September 23rd and the Harvest Moon is the moon that is full closest to this date, which means that some years it occurs in October.

The moon rises earlier during the Harvest full moon and it appears to be brighter and bigger as a result of it shining lower in the sky.

The sky is bright and blue right now just as it was ten years ago and I will be taking a walk later this afternoon.  I didn't think I wanted to read or watch coverage on the 9/11 ten year date.  But as I sat at the computer and clicked on a Yahoo story, which led to another story, I couldn't stop reading about an incredible story of Rick Rescorla whose job was VP of Security at Morgan Stanley/Dean Witter in the South Tower that day for a reason: to help save the lives of thousands of employees working on 20 floors.  He was supposed to have the day off but filled in for someone else.  Only a few in his firm perished.

I will be reading several books soon about this incredible man, a colonel and a hero defined by how he lived his life before and after he became an American citizen.  And who on 9/11/01 performed his last, but not his first, act of heroism.  (it's easy to find many articles googling his name).

Mr. Rick Rescorla (and his best friend) told the Port Authority of NY and NJ (owner of the WTC)  in 1990 that an attack on the WTC from the garage was likely and they told him to just focus on his floors of Morgan Stanley/Dean Witter and so he did.  It was his job to think like a terrorist.  During the terrorist attack in 1993 he evacuated all employees and was the last to remain.  He knew that the terrorists would try again in the future but this time from the air.  He asked his firm about moving the whole office to a different location but the lease wasn't up until 2006 and so he initiated practice evacuation drills several times a year.  He always told the employees that if there is fire in a building you go down and not up.  On 9/11/01 in the South Tower he ignored the Port Authority's advice to stay put after the North Tower was hit, and evacuated the 2,700 on 20 floors (including 250 visitors that day there for training).  He also instructed for 1,000 employees in another nearby building to evacuate.

It wasn't easy to take investment bankers away from their computers but he did this drill for years and on 9/11/01 they were prepared.  As they systematically went down the stairs in pairs he reminded the employees to "be proud to be an American," and sang "God Bless America" and other songs over his bullhorn to help evacuees stay calm as they left the building such as these words from a Celtic military song:

Men of Cornwall stand ye steady;
It cannot be ever said ye
for the battle were not ready;
Stand and never yield!  

By the time the second plane hit the South Tower just 17 minutes after the first tower was attacked, most of the employees were already out of the building except for three.  He and two other security men headed back up.  Out of a total of 3,700 employees, six perished including Rick Rescorla.  He spoke to his wife when the evacuation began and told her he was a happy man and that she had made his life.

Peeved at Teacher

I'm thinking about starting a series of blog posts on my experiences with my sons' teachers and school experiences.  At first I thught I'd call it "Middle School Mondays" because I have almost six years' experience and many stories, positive and negative, but a high school teacher has been on my mind.

The good thing about having a huge blow-up with high school son on a late Saturday night when Hubs is in Florida surfing post-Hurricane Irene waves and I'm left battling with the son who likes to socialize all weekend long rather than catching up on any schoolwork--the good thing is that we ended up really, really talking about what's on his mind and since then he has been sharing some (note I say some) info with me.

With our urging--and I regret the urging at this point in time--he is taking an Advanced Placement course and it involves Lots of reading and weekly quizzes and projects.  As it states in his class syllabus, this is supposed to be a college level course. 

The other day I went through my son's backpack after he got home from school and looked through every paper he had in every three-ring binder, particularly for this AP class (not a normal activity for me).  There are several things that bother me about the lack of respect this teacher has for his students in this "college level course" so I am going to number them in no particular order.

1).  A group research project is taking place and there's a hand-out with the directions.  The teacher wants the students to obtain their info from the textbook and any other research online is fine, but just icing on the cake (my words).  What he wrote: "Use the information from your textbook.  Once you have completed that you can go online and research your little pubescent hearts out."  Condescending? I may have not noticed this one sentence in and of itself, but it is the other things my son has told me adds up to my seeing a lack of respect for these 15 and 16 year olds.

2).  My son thought this was a serious class.  It is tough for him.  Distractions are what he struggles with at home when trying to get any schoolwork done.  During multiple quizzes the teacher is in the back of the class kicking a soccer ball against the wall over and over.

3).  During quizzes the the teacher is in the back of the room looking at his I-phone playing an app that involves animal noises.  Kids giggle and laugh.

4).  Recently my son and his group of three other students had to present a project in front of the class.  One of them got up with his backpack still on his back.  The teacher asked if he was going to present with the backpack on and the student took it off and the teacher stated it didn't matter to him if he wore it or not.  As the students orally presented, the teacher was standing near his desk to the side of the room and he mocked the student by reaching down to the teacher's own backpack and put it on and took it off--put it on and took it off.  So during their presentation, the teacher had the class giggling as a result.  My son said it was extremely distracting for all four of them to keep on task presenting their project.

Can you say Immature as well as Disrespectful?

I'd like your opinions.  I'd like to email the teacher and ask for a phone call, but in my lifetime of having a child in high school for 1+ years, the two times I emailed a teacher asking a question I was never answered.  So I'm thinking of calling the 10th grade assistant principal.  I do not want this immature teacher to single out my son in any way.

I treat teachers as professionals, giving respect to their education and experience as much as I would to any other professional specialist and I can't stand it when I hear of unprofessional behavior.  He is also a coach.  I bet he thinks he is a "fun" teacher but my son does not feel this way.

Am I embarrassed to be involved this way with a 15 year old's school classes?  Not at all.  Hubs and I are all over our kids on a daily basis on our expectations for their behavior to us, to the household, to others and to their schoolwork and...... they know that occasionally we will have their back when we see less than appropriate behavior from adults.  I have stories, people.

So please let me know your advice for how to phrase this to the 10th grade principal.