What 16 Year Old Guys Do for their Birthday

So now we are in the first week of summer and Oldest turns 16 this weekend.  He has a group of friends who've hung out since 4th grade.  He also has a wider group of friends as he is pretty versatile with people and I asked if he wanted to have a big group over (guys and girls) but he didn't want that.  A close friend had his 16th in April and the parents drove a total of 6 boys to TN to raft the Ocoee river--that was so fun for them.  Our son has received a golf bag, clubs and shoes from us and 5 boys will be coming over for food and then they will play 18 holes and have three golf carts.  You have to have a license for those.  After that they will sleep over.

Our son doesn't have his license yet and won't until another month.  You have to wait 12 months from when you get your permit.  Don't even get me started on the driving.  There should have been more of it this past school year for practice.  I am still not cool in the car.  Just the other day we went out to eat after Youngest's 5th grade promotion and Hubs was up front and I was in the back....a wreck.  To be fair, if Hubs wasn't with him--let's say Oldest was alone--I doubt he'd get home unscathed.

(We had a fun impromptu night last night: we dropped the 3 of them off at a driving range--they actually wanted to do this together--and Hubs and I went to a Mexican restaurant.  Then we picked them up and all went to Sonic for 1/2 price shakes.  This is Oldest with his new clubs).

So this week he is in driver's ed.  If anyone has visions of how it is offered at high school for free you'd be wrong around here.  It is $345 for 4 days of classroom work and then next week or so will be drive time.  That is at the high school--or you can certainly sign up at a private place which would have more weekly offerings.

Yesterday he misplaced his wallet which has his Learner's Permit in it.  It was in the garage all day and Hubs (who is home due to summer so I have no boundaries from anyone during the day when I am working) asked him 5 times to put it somewhere safe.  Well, it couldn't be found.  The whole house was in an uproar.  Finally I suggested he goes to the big trash bin outside and put on some rubber gloves and I pointed out which plastic trash bag was the day before's kitchen trash.  And at the very bottom was his wallet.  He was impressed that my suggestion proved correct.  So yeah, he threw it in the trash.  Sometimes there is a dish in the pantry, that kind of stuff.

He is also looking for a part time job.  He applied at some grocery stores and some golf ranges.  he thinks we are crazy when we suggest a myriad of places as we drive through town.  He applied at a Smoothie place where he knows a girl.  That mgr asked him to come back with a resume (!!)  So I had to help him with that.  We suggested that today he stop in to ask again.  He thinks we are nuts but maybe a little part of him knows we may have a clue (?)  And now he is wondering what he will do if two places at once call him and want him to work.  What will he do!

(youngest--he is a mini-Oldest))
Despite the stressful school year and the stressful first week of summer vacay, I treasure my Oldest, who has a keen eye for people and nuances.  I tell him we are learning with him every step of the way.

Middle's Milestone

My Middle Son finished 8th grade this week.  There was no fanfare for this at school--although for the students a few weeks ago there was an 8th Grade after school Social with dancing in the gym. 

He is growing the most around here physically.  Several months ago in the winter I looked in the kitchen and I Seriously got startled wondering who was that man at our kitchen sink.  For a second I thought we had a stranger in the kitchen or it was some neighbor's contractor that Hubs typically had asked to come to our house to look and and quote on something:

Our Middle son didn't do any sports this past fall, and in the spring he told us he was going to do cross country--which is more like an after school club as they only had a couple of meets.  I think it is a way of course for something extra-curricular in addition to wanting the kids to be interested in cross country the following year in high school fall.

When he told us at dinner that he was going to stay after school two days a week for this and asked for rides home those days Hubs said, "What is her name?"  (heeheehee)  When I would pick him up it did seem as if he was the only boy--there were about 22 girls and 4 boys.

A few weeks ago he told me there would be an end-of-season banquet after school and could I sign up to bring a dish.  I said sure.  That day was hectic as usual and I had to stop work a couple hours early and take Oldest to a doc appt, but first had to drop off the food I made to the middle school, and then go to doc appt and then go back to middle school to get Middle son after his banquet.  All the while I was impatient and grumbling inside about how I needed to have been doing work stuff and why did I have to sign up to make food when I should have just sent him to school with a bag of chips.

When we got to the Middle School, I thought I would go in and Middle would be done, so Oldest stayed in the car.  I went into the cafeteria and saw those 22 girls and 4 boys and a couple of high school volunteers, two middle school teachers, a high school teacher and about 2 or 3 parents.  I saw that the teachers and high schoolers were presenting each student with a paper certificate to each kid and said a blurb about them.  At first I was impatient but then calmed down and was humbled by what was going on in this cafeteria.

What I saw in front of me were really good, kind kids and thoughtful, caring teachers.  Because you know I bitch about teachers and the curriculum a lot. One teacher then began to hand out extra-special gifts (gift cards to restaurants) to some kids who had reached milestones.  She then began to say she had an acknowledgement for someone who was the only 8th grade boy to sign up for cross country (I knew then this was my son), who never complained when she asked him to do something, and helped out with things she wanted him to do with the 6th graders even it was not cool and seemed young for him.  She said he has a quiet demeanor and to not forget that a leader does not have to be someone who draws attention by being loud--that you can be quiet and lead by example.

I texted Hubs to tell him that our son was getting a recognition award.  I was beaming.  And then a male teacher told the students to give a round of applause to their parents, as the students would not be in this room celebrating the end of cross country season if it wasn't for the parents.  He also reminded them to stay involved in these types of extra-curricular activities as their success and path to college is always not about their report card.  I think he gave some good advice.

I was so glad that I made it there, unintended to see the end of his social banquet,--such a good reminder of the students and teachers who stay behind after school for each other, and it made my heart swell that other people think of my son as highly as I do.  Even if he is often under the radar.

This Mom is Ready for Middle School

This last year of Youngest's elem school years has been the year where my eyes have been opened to many things.  It has also been tough with our guinea pig in high school (he paves the way for us parents learning along with him).

Here are a couple of examples of how I am ready to be done with some elem school interactions.

Yesterday I posted about how Youngest was getting ready to have the 5th grade promotion ceremony.  I shared how there is a group of parents whom we know well on the "parents of our son's friends and sports teams" level--for the last 6 years our kids have had countless birthday parties, team sports and school events.  These parents have come over and vice versa to pick up kids from sleep overs.

Last night after the promotion ceremony, I saw one of these moms on the road at a red light so I rolled down the window, smiling and casually said, "Hi, where are you guys off to now?"  -- knowing that many families including us we off to dinner.  It never occurred to me what she said next.  She replied, "Oh yeah, I am in the wrong lane but I will be eventually turning left and then we will be at (Name of Restaurant) but we may be a few mins late."  So the mom clique is showing up all together at a restaurant.  Maybe they know that Hubs is not interested at all in seeing the 5th graders at dinner that he sees all day.  That is prob why these interactions are so uncomfortable.  They know I am married to a teacher there.

Another example of how I need to move on and focus on other things is I don't sugar coat any more--I have always been very honest if someone asks me a question but it seems more often I say what is in my mind.  It may be because at work I deal with clients and have to be very diplomatic and then after work hours I go in overdrive......

Another one of these parents sent me an email the other day to invite Youngest to a b-day party.  So that was nice.  I have to add that Youngest is very funny and popular despite some loser kids telling him he looked like a nerd the other day.  His friends are good kids.  She had recently found my own email address and she states this, "Hi, I want to invite Youngest to a Bday party and I just found your email.  I sent the invite to your husband's work email.  In case he is not good with these things, please have him forward it to you."

So last night I saw her and I thanked her for the invite and that son will attend.  She says, "I also sent the invite to your husband's email but I heard your husband isn't good about reading his email."

And I said, "Yeah, he doesn't sit in front of his work laptop during the day at all when he is teaching the students. You have to wonder about the teachers who do see emails right away during the day and reply back right away."

I wanted to include that he leaves for work at 6:30 a.m. and returns most days at 5:00 or 5:30 after tutoring many kids after school for free because the county will go after him if everyone does not do well on the multiple std tests with the biggie one in April and also because he is a male teacher he ends up with the discipline-issue students who are challenging to turn your back on for even five minutes.

You know that adage about how a person can bad-mouth their mother but it is not cool to say anything bad about the mom to that person?  Well, you can badmouth my mom all you want--I don't care.  But for parents who have no clue about the work that goes into the behind the scenes duties of the teacher (even having to eat their lunch with their students) when there is not a school party or field trip going on, well, it ruffles my feathers.

Today after school is a pool party in a nearby n'hood for all of these kids and since my son is friends with them I will be there (Hubs gets to go to a teacher only party they have organized).  I say this is my last post on this subject, but the heat and a Corona or two may be a combination that may add to my menopausal je ne sais quoi bluntness this afternoon.......

Back to what is most important, I was so proud of Youngest last night.  I did not get out of control with any tears.  However, toward the end, when the principal thanks the 5th grade teachers for their hard work, I did get teary eyed.  When you have a school that changes principals and many other aspects year after year, remember it is the teachers that are the glue.  

Congrats youngest on a most excellent elem school record, at which you are a good friend to all, and were most patient this year to all who were in the inclusion class in your class.

(It cracks me up that he covered his face but left an eyeball peeking out).

I'm Not As Sad As I Thought About End of Elementary School

This past weekend was full of activities around our youngest son, age 11, a soon-to-be promoted elem school kid.

I am not the best mom about getting my kids or me to needed appts and a couple weeks ago I finally got both of us to the eye doc for an annual visit.  he is our only son who wears glasses.  Sidenote: at his summer-before-Kindergarten check-up I was told his vision was horrible.  Imagine how bad I felt.  Turns out his right eye had such poor vision that it pretty much had shut down which is why it looked off-center in some photos.  The left eye worked hard to compensate.  He got glasses in Kindergarten and after school and on weekends when he watched TV or played video games, we put a patch over his left eye.  I am very happy to say that it worked because in the beginning of 4th grade we were told he no longer needed to patch. 

This summer he will get an appt for contacts but for now he got "Ray Bans" in black:

He wore them to school yesterday and when I asked if anyone said anything he told me that certain kids told him he looked like a nerd and a geek.  If you think that I replied with an age appropriate and politically correct response you would think wrong.

Today I dropped him off at school, for the second to last time.  I never took the other two boys to school -- they went with Dad or the bus--but now I have the schedule that allows for it--here he is telling me, "Please, no flash photography."

Then, Saturday morning Hubs and I got up early and took Youngest to the Peachtree Jr. Road Race in Piedmont Park in Midtown Atlanta.  Hubs and I used to live near there in our DualIncomeNoKids days and it is always a beautiful day.  Youngests' school has 100 kids who run it and they stay after school and practice for the 2-mile run for 6 weeks prior.  He and his friends have run it since 1st grade.

But I have to say I am very OK with this race being a past memory now.  I would tell you about the local ladies who left their nearby homes with three kids in $1,000 strollers that almost ran me over in the crowd but you'd think I was really ugly so I won't.

And then Sunday afternoon was his last elem school, team sport--flag football.  He really enjoyed it but what got to us is that it is every Sunday afternoon from 2:30-4:30.  It was even going to be held on Mother's Day but it rained and then got cancelled.  One weekend I enticed Hubs to go without me so that I could get stuff done.  I'll do anything for this kid, but I was over the three other moms, whom I have known since Kindergarten, whose boys are all in Boy Scouts but mine aren't, and who ask Hubs questions about school, and who leave me out of their click, as nice as I am, initiating conversations, being polite.  Last Sunday was a prime example--I gave Hubs the side-eyed head maneuver indicating there they were in a huddle chatting about what to expect in 6th grade.  Readers, it gets better in middle school sports.

Tonight is the promotion!  There will be tears.  Hubs has to present his 5th grade class and take photos with his own students.  I will be sure to grab him for photos with Youngest.  Last year a 4th grade teacher told my Youngest that he must think he is special when he told her that I was arriving to get him early and he wanted to go up front.  Yes he is very, very special.

30 Till Fifty

On Tuesday this past week I had to fly to Houston and back in one day for work.  I decided to buy some new flat shoes since I would have a long day, leaving the house at 5:30 am and returning at 10:00 p.m.  I decided to buy new shoes (I have stayed out of store since January 1st other than a new coffee cup for me and a new top--both in yellow).  I was busy the day before the trip, otherwise I may have flown the day before and worn sneakers.  My new shoes that felt Really comfortable at the store with memory foam and all, and look how nicely they matched my big bag:

By 6:20 am walking across the Atlanta airport parking lot toward the terminal, my heels were already sore.  By the time I got to my rental car in Houston they were cut.  By the time I landed back in Atlanta that night I am surprised I didn't leave drops of blood behind me.  After my meeting in Houston I went into a Walgreens and bought Band-Aids.  They helped a little.  But I was in agony back in the Atlanta airport and took them off as soon as I got outside and finished the long walk through the parking lot to my car.

When I got home I went straight into a bath but I had to handwash my feet as they were too sore to be in the water.  I took some photos but I don't want to gross anyone out.  Sleeping has been hard but it is getting better.

And I so appreciate working from home except for the once in a while traveling--and I have learned my lesson not to wear new shoes at least without padding in the heel.  So, one day here and there traveling (and now I can add Houston to the list of airports with TSA personnel that have touched me) and otherwise I am home barefoot.  And braless.

It is almost a year since I was laid off from a job that I had for almost 3 years.  I couldn't stand it.  I remind myself weekly how fortunate I am to no longer be there and be here instead.  There was a 70 year old man who had an office next to mine and every day he ate his lunch that he brought and it included a yogurt such as Yoplait that he ate with a plastic spoon.  Every day as he finished his yogurt, he'd scrape the bottom of that yogurt container about 100 times.  Scrape, scrape, scrape.  I wanted to rip my hair out and yell, "There's no yogurt left!"  I would tell the whole family about it at dinner--weekly.  They know that noises sometimes drive me insane.  Just the other day my Oldest son scraped his yogurt container at me with a side-eyed smile.  We laughed and laughed.

This is a monumental year.  Hubs and I celebrated 25 years of marriage.  Our Oldest son turns 16 in a couple of weeks.  Our Youngest son finishes his elementary years and there will be no more sons at school with Hubs.  Our Middle son finishes middle school and I turn 50.  In 30 days.

I have heard that it takes 21 days of doing something to form a habit.  I am going to get some things done in 30 days.  Blog more.  Take the vitamins I bought.  Do the new Shred video I bought.  Do one thing for me every day.  Hmmm, I'm supposed to take a test in a month and I haven't studied for it yet--have to fit that in too. 

I'm cooling my heels today, but tomorrow I start the countdown.

Middle School Vaccination Schedule

Lately I will have some sort of interaction with another real life adult and it sets me off and I can only describe it as delayed rage.

For example, I have been going into CVS on the weekend because they tempt me with a 25% off coupon so I have been stocking up there instead of Target on tissues, tp, cereal, shampoo, etc.  One day I bought an $8 item that didn't work out and so I brought it back in its bag with the receipt.  When I entered the store the one clerk had many customers in line so I did my 30 minute shopping.  When I faced him to pay I told him I had this item to return first and then I had a cart full of items.  He did my return and when he finished ringing up my $60 worth of stuff (the prior week I bought $100 worth of items) he said,

"Next time you have something to return, you should do the return first and then shop.  This way........there won't be any problems.  Not that there were any problems."

Maybe it is because this worker is so fricking annoying--such as he comments on practically every item he touches as he rings it up, and maybe it is because sometimes there is a rude worker in the prescription area, but I just stared at him wondering what the hell he just said.  And then on the way home I had road rage but luckily no one was in my way so no innocent people were hurt.

And when I got home everyone was there and I spewed forth my anger--insinuating that by not immediately returning my $8 item, I could have brought in an empty CVS bag and put a new item in it and asked for a return.  As if.  And here I have spent hundreds and hundreds of hard earned dollars at this very store for 6 years.  And never steal.  And pay all my taxes.  Hubs stared at me rather amazed.  He said that the clerk may have had a point.  He may have but he pissed me off.  And what I should have said is "Oh really, well if there had been a problem as you say, then we would have really had a problem.  And why don't you go check your security camera if you are insinuating that I am in any way now or in the future a problem.

And then last night before bed I checked a vm left for me earlier that day from a school nurse at the middle school.  In our family of three boys, they get vaccinations for school prior to Kindergarten and prior to middle school (6th grade).  That is the rule so the boys know the expectation.  In fact, when Oldest was getting his prior to his 6th grade, the doc stated that Middle (two grades younger) could go ahead and get his, but I told the doc we would wait for the routine I have established.  And I always go right when school lets out for summer.

Youngest will be entering 6th grade and the elementary school nurse has told Hubs in the hallway (he teaches at same school Youngest attends) a couple months ago that Youngest will need shots for middle school.  She sounded alarmed.  In fact she may have told him twice.  A sealed letter came home last month stating that he will need to get up-to-date by Middle School and how docs get busy in summer and how if we get it done prior to the end of this school year, it makes it easy to put in his file or otherwise I will have to deliver it to the middle school.  Actually our doc is fabulous and evens sees people that day or next day at the latest.  So it has been on my To Do that when school lets out soon on a Wed I am taking him on Thurs or Friday.  By the way, the school's administration works the following week and lots in the month of June so the thought of dropping off his vaccination form to the middle school does not bother me.  Plus, I take the son who gets shots our to eat and for dessert too.

Imagine my surprise when I listened to my vm late last night.  This middle school nurse had a high pitched, very worried, very concerned, escalated freak-out in her voice about how Youngest NEEDS TO GO TO THE DOCTOR FOR HIS VACCINATIONS and how she needs to get that form THIS MONTH (she said that twice) or else he will not be able to go to Middle School.  I was livid.  I have a short fuse these days.  I am going to be 50 years old next month.  I get pissed off.  I didn't even make those italics--I swear they just appeared.  If it was daytime when I heard that vm I would have called her and told her I was well aware of the form and I do not fu**ing appreciate her tone with me as I am well aware that a student can walk in the door the day of school if need be from another state and get registered so you do not need to fuck with me.  Any advice?

So What's Going On With the Boys These Last Ten Days of School?

First up--Hubs.  The state tests -- that teachers have to teach towards from Aug till late April (which are taken after about 6 other sets of standardized tests)-- are done and now Hubs gets to teach the old school way.  During the year he reads a class book to his 5th grade students that features a kid's lunch box that gets stolen (Dear Mr. Henshaw).  Now that there is time again for extra-curricular projects during class time, he has them create an alarm for a lunch box.  They have to work in groups  of four and using a small motor, create a lunchbox that will alarm if anyone tries to sneak out...a large candy bar.  Last night he bought about 45 various candy bars that are shaped long such as Butterfinger, plain Hershey's, etc.

In about a week the principal will be invited in to the class and she will approach each carefully prepared lunchbox and reach in and pull out the coveted candy bar.  Years ago the kids used a paper bag lunch sack and now he tells them to pick up a soft-sided one from a thrift store if they don't have one. The students hope that their crafted alarm will set off and the principal will not be able to "steal" their candy bar.

Sidenote: a couple of years ago, when the day was over, one boy almost cried telling Hubs that he didn't win, but can they still get a prize or treat, and Hubs said, No, you didn't win.  The student said, "But we are just little kids!"

Hubs and another teacher are doing this together with their two classes.  The other teacher is younger and has taught fewer years and this is the first time instructing this project.  He is super excited and yesterday told Hubs, "This is great--and you used to be able to do projects like this for science all year???" 

Two more weeks and then for the first time since Oldest began Kindergarten in 2001, none of our three sons will ever be in the same school with Dad anymore.