The Third Child is in Middle School and I'm All Renegade

I know I have posted several times about how many tests are in elem and middle school and here I go again.  When my youngest son was in his last year of elem school last year, the burn out of our kids was really apparent.  By December there are already so many tests--teachers and principals are asked to have so many -- all to prep for the Big Test in April for which teachers have to make sure their students pass.  Or else there are bean counters in the county office watching. 

In early Sept the kids are tested to assess how ready they are for the Big Tests in April.  Then of course you have other tests for grades (which mean nothing now because you can be passed to the next grade for poor grades but not if you didn't pass the Big Tests in April).

Then there is the IQ test which isn't clear to anyone that that is what it is (called the Cogat) and then there is the ITBS--the National Test which is the only "bubble in worksheet" test I had to take as a kid.

In December the students are tested Again for the Big Tests in April to again assess the status of where extra help may be needed to do well on the Big Test.

My third son was excited about middle school earlier in the year being able to see new kids from the one school he had previously attended his whole life and also being able to have several male teachers.  This week the teachers were honest with the kids as they told my son that coming up are two days in which they will be tested to see how they will do on the Big Tests--AND that they will see some info they have not yet been taught so to just guess and do their best.  And that it doesn't count for a grade but to try their best anyway.

The following week after these assessment tests are "midterms" on the material they Have learned and it IS for a grade.

So, guess who is staying home for two days?  It turns out that I had scheduled dental appts for two sons one of those afternoons.  But I am doing what I can to try and eliminate some burn out.  And make a statement.  They have have the scores from last April.  Kids don't sway much much how they score year to year.  My three children have been consistent every year.  Sitting in classes taking more tests on some material not even learned yet is not ideal.  But my son and I are lucky in that I am home and can have him home with me. 

BTW, one male teacher is super cocky and told us parents on curriculum night that he is very competitive with the results of the Big Test in April and each year tells his students if they have the best scores in all of the other classes then he will do something they vote upon like wear a dress.

His students are the kids who have been in the "gifted" classes in elem school.  I am not understanding what he is worried about.  He will never have a student placed in his class who just moved from another area and has a file about 3 inches thick with behavior issues, poor grades and a lack of parenting.

Other teachers I know agree it is a waste of time.  I should add up the hours taken away from teaching something interesting or doing something creative due to all this pre-testing of the Big Tests.

Why do we have the state criteria Big Tests in April?  Because once upon a time parents demanded schools with good test scores.  Hubs suggests that I attend a County Board Meeting and speak my opinion to the School Board or somehow let other parents know what is what about all this pre-testing.  It would definitely be an example to the Board of why some many parents would prefer a Charter School (which is a slippery slope to think of the behaviors and grades then left remaining in the schools).  Hubs has already spoken up enough on many items to most likely have his name written down on lists in the county office.

So tomorrow I will have my 6th grader at home.  He always helps with whatever I ask.  He is better at cleaning his bathroom than either of his brothers and he will reorganize the pots and pans cupboard and dust the furniture.  And we will have hot chocolate.

We Are Having Thanksgiving Today (in December)

Home Sweet Home.  November was a killer month for me with travel for work.  Then there was travel for Thanksgiving.

Before Hubs and I had kids we always stayed home for Thanksgiving and went to or hosted Thanksgiving with other no-kids couples.  Then we schlepped all around for Christmas.  Once we had children we went to FL for T-giving where Hubs has many siblings and his mom and there'd be a round robin switch up each year. 

It is easy to travel when kids are little but not as much when they are bigger than you.

Have you ever had a thought and presented it to Hubs and he didn't get it, but then a week or month later your partner may have had the same thought and then you think to yourself how once again it took him a while to catch up to what you already knew and suggested?

I had to be in Michigan for three days and got home the Friday before Thanksgiving.  This year Hubs' mom wasn't doing well and so Hubs decided to spend most of Thanksgiving with her.  It may have been best for me to stay with the kids at home.  That gave me one day at home before we drove the 7 hours to FL.

Hubs is one of six children and in the words of a friend of mine who is the only child and faces sole responsibility when her mother is ill, it doesn't necessarily make the communication and planning easier  with six children and their spouses and children.  It is never easy for anyone.

I had to work T-giving week, which I can do anywhere as long as there is wifi....so I spent the week at an in-laws with the boys and only saw Hubs on Thanksgiving day, at the get-together of another in-laws.

All that is easier to do at home when I can cook for these boys which is not as easy to feed them all the time at other people's houses. 

And then of all wild things I got a new client in FL who wanted to meet with me the Tuesday after Thanksgiving so Hubs left FL the day after Thanksgiving with the boys and another sibling took over to be with his mom and I stayed.

I did have a great time with my sister in laws.

They are crazy and make me do Black Friday which this year started T-giving night so I was at stores from 9:00 pm on T-giving till 3:30 am Friday.

And I did find peace and walk on the beach for 30 minutes on two days:

Since we have traveled to FL for each Thanksgiving (except for one when we hosted it in GA) for the past 16 years, I have cooked our own Thanksgiving dinner the weekend after Thanksgiving.  I highly recommend this--you get leftovers!

It was early in Thanksgiving week that Hubs stated what I had stated previously--that this will most likely be our last Thanksgiving for traveling to FL.  It was bound to happen with our oldest being a senior in high school next year and then who knows where after that.

As each generation gets older, traditions change and sometimes change is not easy for some people.  But today we are having our 14 lb turkey and butternut squash soup and all the fixings and no pie but lots of brownies and cookies.

All Work and No Play

I am on a hotel computer since I am not able to blog on my phone.  I am counting the days till C-mas week when I will take a week off.  I am on my third day in another state--this time Michigan.  Last week was two days in South Dakota and the week before that was Idaho and Utah.  Then at night I have to answer the 50 emails I get and send about 50 more due to all the crisis'.  No more traveling for a couple months after Nov so that will be good.
The kids have all next week off but I am unable to take time off.  We were told that time off is restricted this week.  I am still going with the family on Sunday to my mother-in-laws--at which there is no wifi--and there are other relatives to visit but MIL is not doing well and Hubs needs to stay with her.  Will Panera and Starbucks kick me out if I am there too long using wifi? 

This is a pretty lame post but I have become dull.  On the flight back home last week by way of Minneapolis I was on the plane and had to do my open enrollment and even more work so I actually bought wifi in the air and worked.  I realized I used to read books but not anymore.  Also--I look like crap.

All is well and I of course do not prefer the alternative of not having a job since that would be even more stressful.  Maybe I will be able to read something in the car on Sunday driving the 7 hours to FL.

I still think of everyone--my mind is still my own.

The Grass is Greener

I had to go out of town last week for several days and I missed Halloween so I have no pictures.  Every year for almost 15 years I carve one of those design pumpkins and then take pictures of it and of the boys too.  This year only Youngest, in 6th grade, still wanted to Trick or Treat so I helped make sure the pumpkin was done a couple nights ahead of time and that the pumpkin was carved.  I bought designs with a Star Wars theme.  The most exciting thing is that Youngest completely carved the pumpkin himself!  My pumpkin carving days are over and I realized I am thrilled about that.  But I am sad that I did not get a picture of it.  Or of Youngest and had to hear about his Halloween from Idaho.

I rented a car in Salt Lake City and then drove 2.5 hours north to a small town in Idaho.  I had new boots but it was actually cooler in GA.  I was very happy that there was no snow.  The bummer about working and meeting clients during the day means I am doing work on laptop at night.  Very exhausting.  Then I flew back on Satirday so I missed half the weekend.

Utah and Idaho are so different from where I live and it is all I can do to stay on the road when I want to keep looking at the mountains.  The people are so nice and it seems like a good life.  But what is interesting is that I met several people who had been to Georgia and had really nice things to say about it such as how green it is, how lush and what a great time they had.  It made me really take notice when I got back home.

(on a Sunday walk in the 'hood)

Lately all I think about is the crime--I won't go into my bank or certain restaurants near me as they have been robbed.  Hubs and I won't go out to some of our old stomping grounds due to the crime.  But as I drove home from the airport and then took a walk I looked at all the colorful leaves.  

The boys were glad to have me back and have home cooked meals again. I had finished up work in salt Lake on Friday at 5:00 pm/7:00 pm ET and I got a text from my 14 year old looking for food suggestions since Hubs had all his teacher friends on our porch and no one had prepared dinner (I had showed the teens all the frozen items I had bought before I left....).   Food shopping was our date on Saturday night after I got back and then it was a beautiful Saturday night for grilling and Sunday was soup making time and Impossible Cheeseburger pie.

Wed morning I am off again but just for one night.....to South Dakota.  The week after that--more travel again.  And that is it for a while.  I have had more TSA personnel touch my breast area last week than Hubs it seems.

Tough Love

In a span of five days I had three strangers comment on my Driver's License photo.  That photo was taken about 13 years ago.  All I have ever had to do is renew it online--even after moving to a new address.   Strangers used to comment about it, "That's a great picture!"

First, the female rep at a rental car place and then two different ladies at two different hotels have recently said after looking at my ID, "You look so different now!"  So--I used to actually get compliments on that photo and now I hear how much I do not look like that photo.

And to all three I replied, "I have three teenage boys.  When that photo was taken I did not."  And then they back peddle and say, "Oh, didn't mean it like that--I mean your hair was blonder."

When the last person said it while checking into a hotel in Texas last week, and I said my response of three boys and teens--she nodded and said that she too had three boys of ages 13, 11 and 8 and for 10 minutes we shared stories of how they act up and I told we we "go Amish" with ours which is how they feel with no phone or computer access.  She told me how she works hard every day to get them clothes and things they want and I told her I understood and when I am not working on the weekend I shop for and make food they like.  We both shared that we always correct their behavior even if it means that day or that weekend just got incredibly harder for us.  We completely related.

Three years ago when mine were 13, 11 and 8 like hers are and I remember it well and I was very busy with everything and was more involved than I am now with their homework and school projects.  But I wasn't dealing with the same issues we have dealt with at ages 16 and 14 (I hope the 12 yr old is as easy at 16 as he has been up to this point but I am not naive).  In the photo above they are 5, 3 and 1.  People would say I have my hands full. 

I am sure that a few years ago when they were 13, 11 and 8 someone else must have looked at me and knew I'd soon know what it is like when they are 16 and 14.  Is there someone who has boys at ages 19 and 17 and 15 looking at me now and thinking that if I think 16, 14 and 12 is challenging--just wait? 

My boys are the best thing about my life.  This summer they will be 17, 15 and 12.  There will be another learner's permit achieved.  And I'll have a new driver's license then because they have changed the rules in my state and on my next birthday I will wait for about 5 hours in person with about 3 items of ID and then I will get a new picture. 

If I Had Blogged This Week I Would Have Mentioned the Harvest Moon

Since the Full Harvest Moon is technically today Universal Time and since it was full in my side of the hemisphere last night at 11:30 pm I feel accurate saying you can see it tonight just as full after sunset.  It is cloudy in my world today but I did get to see it in an overcast sky last night.

The autumn equinox was September 22 and the full moon nearest to that date is the Harvest Moon.  Sometimes the Harvest Moon falls in October.  Which is tomorrow!

If I had been blogging last week I would have mentioned how I had to fly to Michigan and how I got a surprise at the Atlanta airport.  I have written before how there are 20 or so security lines and only about three with the  body scanners of which I opt out.  To my surprise the security line just to view your ticket and ID took forever and that is because they closed every security lane with the "old fashioned" metal detectors and used only the few with the radiating body scanners.

Every single person goes into the body scanner with legs spread and arms up without saying a word.  I think that is sad.  However, without even the parent asking, asking I notice they let children go through the old fashioned metal detectors.

The line to wait to put your belongings on the table to be x-rayed was very long.  One lady told me she was going to miss her plane.  I suggested that she ask people if she could move ahead.  People were kind and said sure (it is Karma--what if that was your mother, daughter, etc.) but it didn't help as I saw her later turned away at her gate.

It will be interesting to see when I go back to the airport in 10 days if that was just a day to get the government's money's worth out of the scanners or if it was just something about that day.

Of course at the smaller airports I am at when I return home, it is always the body scanner and I always opt out.  I am not happy that I no longer see signs stating that people CAN opt out.  I am so polite when I tell the TSA person after I have two bins and two bags on the belt that I would like to opt out.  The TSA agent in Michigan said, "Why?  It is just scanning your skin?"  To which I replied, "I'd like to opt out."  People do not have to answer anything.  People do not have to answer where they are going or why they are traveling. 

However, my seatmates on the flight back most likely hated me as I was that person who blew her nose every 15 minutes.  I didn't have enough tissues so the ones I had ended up so wet I could have wrung them out.  I still have a bad sinus cold.

You know what else bothered me on the two flights?  The flight attendants scared me to death.  On the flight to Michigan we were apparently getting near some choppy air over Indiana.  The plane is in total silence, no air antics are going on, and a female flight attendant blurts out, "GET BACK IN YOUR SEATS AND FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT."  I seriously need to offer to the TSA to just drug me out stone cold, and put me in a seat, and wake me up when we land.  There was barely any turbulance and the pilot then nicely stated that we would have a little bit of choppy weather.

THEN on the return flight the two male attendants were serving beverages and just as they were at my aisle--it was getting choppy--a female flight attendant BLURTS out, "WE ARE STOPPING THE BEVERAGE SERVICE as it is TOO DANGEROUS for the flight attendants."

Really?  She had to use the word DANGEROUS?  Maybe if I were a little bit older and therefore a little bit bolder I would have counseled her upon our exit that she may want to deliver her announcement in a more calm and positive way.

But at that point I was just so glad to be almost home on a beautiful late September day.

What's Up with my Teenage Boys

So, high school has been in sesh for a month and our two high schoolers get up super early and drive together.  Our 9th grader needs a lot of time in the am so he gets up at 5:35 am.  Then they leave at about 6:45.  I get up at 6:30 and see them off.  They make their lunches every day.  Sometimes Oldest leaves his wallet in unbeknownst places and we start the day in a hectic fret.

Besides driving, Oldest has hit some other milestones.  He applied for a few part time jobs in the past four months but it took a friend to get him his first job that he started last weekend.  Isn't that how it often is? .....knowing someone helps pull you in the door.  His friend up the street started working as a busboy at a nearby popular place, where his sister is a waitress.  Then they needed another busboy so he suggested Oldest and the mgr said OK.   Oldest trained last weekend.  He will like having a job, I know. 

For work he has to wear jeans and a black t-shirt so tonight we went out to Target and TJ Maxx and he drove and I actually didn't even grab the dashboard once.  Progress on my part.  When kids drive and parents sit, it makes for good conversation time!  Last night I made cookies and there was only an inch of milk left in the fridge so we sent him off to the store, which is an awesome thing.  I do still have my freak out moments such as two weeks ago he went to a nearby gas station for a Sunday paper (Hubs still likes a paper--I know, so old school) and he took too long so I hopped in my car to go looking.  The dumb gas station had run out so he went elsewhere.

We have a deal that if we need him to run errands we will fill the tank.  We have been needing him to go back to the high school almost every day this week (I am swamped at work with afternoon calls) and bring home his 9th grade brother from cross country practice.  High school gets out around 2:15 p.m. and Oldest comes home and then goes back to get Middle son at 4:00.  We have tried and tried to get some parents together to carpool but so far no dice.  Middle son is one of the few 9th grade boys on cross country.  One mom told me she would bring him home on Wednesdays.  Apparently I forgot to remind him to wear a shirt.  Every day when we get him he is chillin out in running shorts only.  Last week he rode home with this other mom and he walks in the door with no shirt and I had a fit.

Here is is today after school, in his running apparel, happy  and chill as can be, digging in to taco night:

Last weekend Hubs and I drove 1.5 hours to north GA to see him race.  It was a beautiful day and here are the varsity boys ready to start:

I was telling Hubs the other day the in one year we will have three teenage boys.  Youngest turns 12 in one week.  He doesn't leave for the bus until 8:45 am.  He gets home at almost 5:00 and that is when I had better have taco time almost ready or something lovin in the oven for these guys.