Going on Dates with Boys

One Christmas morning about four or five years ago there were three small envelopes addressed to Mommy and Mom, tucked onto a branch of the Christmas tree, one from each boy. As a surprise to me, each one was a gift card to a different restaurant in our town, and a note from each son saying he wanted to take me on a date. I was really tickled and I went out with each son separately over the next month or so.

My middle son remembers that first "date"--he was in kindergarten or first grade (and he is now about to start middle school). We went to Chili's and had the best time. After dinner, we split a dessert called Chocolate Molten Lava. He asked me, "Can a heart ever burst or stretch in size because it fills with so much love?" I was in bliss. (I just asked him a few minutes ago if he remembers our first date at Chili's and he said he remembers a really good chocolate dessert).

After a couple of years we didn't actually use a restaurant gift card, but instead a couple times a year I suggest that we go out to a restaurant and do something afterward. Things get very hectic around here with two parents working outside the home, and three boys with lots of homework and three boys doing three different sports sometimes during the year. So what started as a gift idea from my husband has turned into a routine of one-on-one time with each son because it is a real treat to enjoy them individually, and I know they like talking to me as well, uninterrupted by another bro.

Earlier this summer I missed the boys a lot when they spent a week here and there without me. So when I suggested we have our alone dates my youngest son (age 8) said "Me first!". We went to see the movie "Up" which was of no interest to the other two. First we went to Chick-Fil-A and then we went to the drug store to get some candy. Yes, I am one of those moms who will not pay the movie theater candy prices.

My middle son and I are the only ones who can rollerblade in the family so we have gone to a roller rink that is just $2 on Wednesday nights. And we bring our own glow because they clear the rink and let only those with Glow on skate for a couple of songs.
This summer I took my 13 year old to see Transformers 2. I liked the first Transformers which I saw at home on DVD when it came out. I even got teary at the end when the yellow Bumble Bee transformer said, "I want to stay with the boy". I had been told that in this Transformers Megan Fox is made up like a porn star. I was compelled to let my son know after the movie and dinner at Chick-Fil-A that the actress looks a little different and that all girls in dorms don't really walk around in towels after their showers, nor does every girl at a college party look like these did, nor do they run for their lives in the desert with lips all plumped and glossed. He thought the extreme lip action was ugly. I kept my comment about how she was first shown onscreen "posed" on top of her motorcycle to myself. Maybe I should have taken him to see Ice Age-Dawn of the Dinosaurs instead. Nah, I'm not gonna fight this battle about some movies, but I do what I can to advise what is real.

So the entertainment is varied and the conversation is changing, but I will always look forward to our one-on-one time to enjoy the boys separately.