On Tuesday of this week our garage was filled with all of our camping and road trip supplies, ready to be loaded into the Suburban for road trip take-off Wednesday morning. Hubs was at his last day of school as required for the teachers, prior to the long-awaited road trip. I was at my job.
And then in the afternoon at work without any hint I was given this due to a company restructuring:
Fuck.
So you've frequently heard how I am busy from morning till night with my job (for which I'd sometimes have to travel) and with 1 tween and 2 teenage children and dinner and their activities. What I've never written before is how miserable my job made me. For the past 2+ years it's been common to hear one is lucky to have a job in this economy. And sure, the devil you know keeps you around longer for fear of the devil you don't know.
I had started to job search a couple of months ago, feeling like the economy was in a better place for hiring now than a year ago. But I wanted to be the one to turn in a letter of resignation, not the other way around. I should have been spending my nights and weekends more on job searching than reading about things to do in Arizona and New Mexico.
I had started to job search a couple of months ago, feeling like the economy was in a better place for hiring now than a year ago. But I wanted to be the one to turn in a letter of resignation, not the other way around. I should have been spending my nights and weekends more on job searching than reading about things to do in Arizona and New Mexico.
In my blog profile I state that I drive like a bat out of hell after work every day to be with my family. Here is an actual quote from my former boss a few months ago who works 24/7 and is a parent and had to go pick up her child: "This parenting thing is interfering with my work life!"
So, yeah. Not a good fit at all. Fuck 'em.
And it was making me sick. My stomach hurt every morning. My blood pressure has always been 110/70 but not anymore. I've gone up a clothes size. Just 3 weeks ago I was asked to fly to a new meeting in another state. But now I don't have to fly anywhere any more for work. My blood pressure feels better already.
Maybe the timing wasn't so bad after all. If it had happened let's say two weeks ago, Hubs may have freaked out and not gone on the trip. He did freak out, but they still went, and I am glad (they are in the mountains in north New Mexico right now having a blast).
And I swear I would be stressing out about work during my vacation next week if this had not happened. I'm keeping my plane ticket to join them as planned next week. But instead of flying back alone to get to a work meeting the third week of June, I will be driving back with my guys. I think this iconic road trip will be even more fucking fantastic than I ever thought before.
So, what's been going on these past 4 days since I got the news? I felt initial shock and weepiness during the first 48 hours, but in these second 48 hours I have felt happier and healthier than in a long time. I have been laughing with freedom on the phone with friends--which has not been the case in a while.
People I don't even know in real life have been kinder to me these past few days than the people I used to see at work every day. Friends have given me more of their time over the past few days than any of these people I saw every day. Old friends are my family of choice and have given me more than words can say. Thank you. I've reached out to business contacts I've known through work and have received empathy, business leads, and encouragement. To all of these people I have given my true self; all of these people know the authentic me.
Who knows when I will be employed again, but everyone in my family is healthy, our home was not torn apart in a tornado and I am taking this opportunity to be good to myself and spend time with the people who matter most. I can always make money again.
Who knows when I will be employed again, but everyone in my family is healthy, our home was not torn apart in a tornado and I am taking this opportunity to be good to myself and spend time with the people who matter most. I can always make money again.
My job is gone, but I have kept the strength of my character.
Blessings are often disguised.
17 comments:
Wow. You are handling this very well. I think you will find losing that job the best thing that ever happened to you health and sanity. And I'm sure you'll land on your feet, whatever you decide.
I hope you have the trip of a lifetime now that you don't have to rush back for more work. Enjoy. Soak it up. Post lots of fun pictures when you get back!
Oh no! I'm so sorry you got fired!
Awesome! Your blood pressure is down and you have more time with your family!
My favorite job ever was working in a vet's office when I was in my 50s. But I worked 12 hour days, was the go-to lady for weekend work cuz I didn't have kids at home, and worked my ass off - literally. I was down to 98lbs., mainlining caffeine, and suffered every stress feature there is. Within a week after I quit to move near the grandkids, I was healthier and happier.
Sooo...enjoy this respite from the rat race! Then when you're ready to find another job, make sure they know that you want a FAMILY FRIENDLY position! If that doesn't work for them, then FUCK 'EM!!!
(I'll be curious to see if this posts - lately whether I'm logged in, or if I use anonymous, it's just not wanting to post. So here goes...)
All I can say is "Amen!" to this. It's going to okay. Better than okay. Yes.
WOW! I always find it unbelievable when companies layoff/fire those employees who have their nose to the grindstone and work hard. But because these employees aren't also the butt kissy type the end up on the chopping block first.
Well as you said the timing is perfect, now you get to relax and enjoy your boys on the trip of a lifetime. And then a new and better job will happen. It sounds like you have made some solid professional contacts over the years (and yes the power of social media does help) and we all know it is not so much what you know, but who you know.
So enjoy your next few weeks and renew your spirit, jobs will be waiting when you get back.
Getting laid off sucks big doody, especially if by a company that also sucks big doody, 'cuz the chicken shit factor just skyrockets. The fallout from lack of work goes way deeper than from lack of a paycheck, but you have recovered miraculously, and I see it as a direct result of your strength of character and warm personality that you have shown to friends and business contacts out there; well it's all coming back to you now, right when you need it. Although I think you already posted this before, but how 'bout a repost of that white chicken chili recipe that helped bring you out? :)
Ah, yes. Sometimes bad things have a way of working out for the better. Join your family and relax. I'm so glad you are all still going. This is what you should do - like you asked for my opinion.
I'm sorry you got the pink slip, but change can be good. And if you were so unhappy, this is an opportunity. Meanwhile, travel on. Swim in the Pacific. Go to the observatory in Flagstaff and get some good star watching books. (You'll like the observatory and your kids will like the gift shop there.) Enjoy it and breath, breath. What comes later, comes.
Have a blast.
Sorry I didn't have a chance to respond to your email yet, but WOW! I honestly think work isn't all it's cracked up to be - I am WAAAAY happier since I quit my job last month. The weird thing is I thought that with the lack of $$$ coming in, I would have many sleepless nights. Quite the opposite -I sleep like a BABY now, compared to how I slept when I had that crappy job.
Find something you're passionate about and follow your dream. And read "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. I swear, it will change your life!
ENJOY YOUR VACATION!!!!
What you will find astonishing, once you get past the surrealness of the whole thing, is how little "free time" you have. I was a prosecutor for 13 years, and got my "pink slip"/"it's just not working out"resign or be fired chat in February from the new administration. Heather, your comment's so true ("I always find it unbelievable when companies layoff/fire those employees who have their nose to the grindstone and work hard. But because these employees aren't also the butt kissy type the end up on the chopping block first"). I was at the office with my five year until after 9 p.m. two nights in the week preceding my being cut loose. You're right--I was working way too hard to be able to find sufficient time to kiss ass.
But it does get better. You somehow find things to do, settle down on the whole identity crisis thing, and hopefully get past the bitterness to get a better perspective on life. And one of the best things about really is finding out how many people care about you and will do whatever they can to help. Enjoy this chance for a new life.
♥ hugs ♥
i wish you luck finding something that will make you money and happy! but for now enjoy your boys' and take care of yourself!!!!
It sounds like this was a blessing in disguise, although I am still sorry you have had to go through it. Hopefully you won't have to fly for work anymore. I wish you the best and hope you soak up every moment with your boys on this trip and just have FUN.
Thank you everyone for your comments--they mean so much.
I've been hard on myself for not getting myself out of there sooner and then realized that I was there cuz 2.5 years ago the economy tanked and there have not been many good jobs. I can see by my searching and networking the job prospects look much better out there these days.
I also had an epiphany a couple days ago: I don't know when I will land the next job, and the unemployment checks till then will be a fraction of a regular paycheck, but no matter how it'll be next month or the next month or the next month, this I know: I will STILL be in a "better place" than where I was before.
People should swear in their blog posts more often :) Maybe someday I'll get the courage to do it. Lol!
What I love most about this, is that you FEEL so much better being out of there - and that will add years to your life. No job is worth that kind of stress, and something will turn up - maybe not even in the traditional way you think, but I firmly believe everything happens for a reason. Enjoy your trip! Job hunting can wait a bit :)
I'm late to comment on this, but I read your post the other day and have thought of you often! I had no idea you were so unhappy in your job--I'm glad you're already feeling better and less stressed. This one of those scary situations that you look back on and say, "Wow, that really was for the best." in the meantime, though, it's still scary! Hang in there, and enjoy your trip! Xo
I'm sorry you did not get the opportunity to quite a job you hate, but I do hope that this is a blessing in disguise and that bigger, better things are on the horizon for you and the fam. Enjoy your vacation. xo.
I totally agree with Midlife jobhunter. Sometimes bad things do have a way of working out for the better. I am sure that the whole situation is still very upseting to think about. You must pull yourself up,brush yourself off and try a new path. Enjoy your family and stay strong. You can and will find a new better job. I just know it.
Yeah, I think this is absolutely a blessing. And the opportunity for the roadtrip with the family is perfect. You can shake off the dust of this job, and be ready to move forward. Take some time for yourself and relax and enjoy your family!
What do you do? We need an Auditor. We only travel once a or twice a year for training.
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