View from the Baseball Stands

I think the total number of recreational sports teams on which my three boys have played is 48. That is a lot of teams, coaches, uniforms, sports equipment…and parents. In the fall I wrote about how parents should make it easier on themselves by not having to provide a snack.

Amazingly, this spring, none of our three sons’ teams have a snack rotation. Heck, my oldest son is almost 14 and some of those boys look like they could just about drive themselves to Wendy’s afterwards for a snack.

But today I really want to talk about my youngest son’s baseball team. There are a lot of things going on. There have been about 5 games and I am at each one and Hubs is at about half of them as he is asst. coach for our oldest son and sometimes things conflict. Or pneumonia wipes him out (but he is much, much better now).

Our youngest son is in 3^rd grade and you’d think that there would be a snack. To my amazement the coaches do not want snacks and it wasn’t discussed via email or in person. Everyone seems happy with this. I am not surprised that the lack of snack policy wasn’t announced because his two coaches do not talk to the parents. At All.

For example, after each game, the boys leave their dugout and sit on the bleachers or grass nearby and the parents stand there and the coaches talk to the players about the game. In my entire Parent-of-Three-Players lifetime, the coaches will always address the parents as well, saying something like, “Parents, we’ll send out an email over Spring Break to see who may be around”.

These coaches speak only to the players such as, “I think we need to put together a practice. Tell your parents that this Wed we will have a practice at 6:00”. It’s really odd, like they have racing horse blinders on, cuz we are standing 4 feet away. One of the coaches is extremely sarcastic to the players, which I do not like. In fact, he may have made a physical imitation of a player who missed a grounder and threw flailingly. I am NOT 100% sure though. If I were, I would have gone up to the fence and said, “Umm, you may not speak to us or look at us, but we parents are right here.” I will say it in a heartbeat. I have gotten extremely ballsy in my age.

One thing I DO like about the coaches is that they do not give out a “gameball”. Have you seen this? After the game the players sit on the bleachers and when the coaches finish the “Good job and here’s where we need to improve chat” they point out a great play and give that player a baseball, perhaps signed and dated by them. Of course the coaches have to mentally keep tabs on not omitting a player during the season. And I have to say that when my sons have gotten the gameball they are on cloud nine.

But this year the coaches told them that we win as a team and we lose as a team and there are no game balls. I really like that. So except for Sarcastic Coach, I have no complaints about the Main Coach, although his son is extremely bratty. The other day when the game was over the Main Coach did not notice but his son was “batting” Dasani water bottles with his metal bat with about 3 kids about 6 inches away. I was the nearest parent to the dugout and I said, “Not a good idea” and he glared at me.

But let’s talk about the other moms now. After all these years of team participation, I have noticed some extremely snooty moms on my youngest son’s baseball teams. It started last fall when I noticed some other moms not talking to me even after I initiated. Hubs noticed it too. In fact I had been telling him about one lady in particular. Toward the end of the season he says, "There’s one lady who walks around all dressed up like she is super special"... and I’m all, “I’ve been telling you that for a month now”.

This spring season is a new crop of moms …….. and I swear they have turned the baseball stands into a coffee clatch. The other day I was there alone for a game with Hubs to join me later. As the game was starting, one mom asked Sarcastic Coaches’ wife about the No Snacks situation, saying it was great, and the Coaches’ wife was responding. So I joined in stating how this has been the case for my older son too and it has worked out great.

(Staring at me) *Crickets*

Then the Coaches’ wife had to go over to the dugout and talk to her hubs (they are sarcastic and snap at each other all the time) and when she returned the conversation resumed and I participated again.

*Crickets*

These moms talked so much it was super distracting. I heard about one’s bladder control problems and how she needs to have that fixed but is not sure if she is done having kids and then that was a whole other conversation. I also heard all about their Weight program and points and how breastfeeding gives you 10 free points. Soon another friend of theirs from the opposing team joined and there were two or three backs turned to us. Suddenly the smell of cigarette smoke was thick in the air and everyone started glancing around because you just never see anyone smoking around the stands. One snooty lady turned completely around and looked at my Hubs and turned back. The murmurs of who’s is smoking started up again and she craned her neck again our way. Hubs said to her, “It’s not me—I thought it was you”. (Hubs told me later they were all really snooty and he couldn’t resist – I’m just glad to know that it is not just me noticing this stuff because I do have an extremely active people observation radar).

Maybe because I have seen so many games that I am just more in tune these days to the parents? I don’t know but I am finding it really interesting. In fact, even though I have not had much sleep and a long day, Youngest has a game again tonight and I am ready to get over there. Besides cheering the team from the stands I will be watching the coaches closely and observing parental antics. I’ll let you know if I chew anyone out. Like an adult. On Saturday the game was starting and something pelted me in the back of the head. Some boy had one of those little rubber balls and it beaned me. I glared. He said he was sorry. I'll be the old lady yelling "Get off my lawn" one day. Anyway, I'll let you know if I have any opportunity to speak my mind to an adult.